CAIO SUD AMERICA, NAMASTE INDIA !!!!

So, after a long 17 hours in transit for a flight that should have taken me from Quito to Caracas in 3 hours, I arrived in Caracas at 11:00 pm. Got to my hotel, which was pure luxury compared to some of the shit holes we stayed in. This was to be my last nite in South America. I left the MTV channel on all nite so I could absorb every bit of Spanish music while I was there. On the flight from Panama city to Caracas, I met this lovely man who invited me to stay with him and his wife instead of going to the hotel. He said if I ever came to Caracas again, I was to think of his home as my own! Loved the people in this beautiful continent…always ready with a smile, and a Buenos dias, and a como estas. Then, from Caracas to Frankfurt, a 9 hour flight, I sat next to a German man, who didn’t even say hi to me the entire time. Had 5 hours to kill in Frankfurt so I decided to go out for a little bit of a walk to get some air. I walked out of the airport, and literally turned around and walked back in! I had forgotten what cold feels like. OMG!!! I don’t think my body is capable of dealing with low temperatures any longer.

After a mai tai and a caipirinhia in the lounge, I stumbled over to the boarding gate to make my way to New Delhi. This time again, I sat with a lady who didn’t even say hi. FINE BY ME!!! Arrived in India and my first interaction with an Indian was with the immigration officer. He looked at my passport, and then looked at me a few times. Then asked me what I did for a living. I told him I was a pharmacist which obviously led him to ask me how much I made every month. I was a bit shocked about the personal question and then I remembered I am in India. There is nothing personal here. So, the next question was if I was married…and I told him..been there done that. He was genuinely concerned and asked me why it didn’t work out and if I had married a foreigner! Before I left the counter, he told me that I was lovely and would have no problem finding a man. Phew! Thank God, now I can go on with my life! LOL! Ahh....third world!!! People are so much warmer, friendlier, more interesting and absolutely CRAZY!

My cousin had come to receive me at the airport and I kept him awake until 4 am talking. Thanks to jet lag! After spending the day in Delhi, shopping for clothes that would not give my grandma a heartattack…”decent clothes” they call them here. Means anything that is unflattering, shapeless, non cleavage revealing and I don’t have anything like that in my backpack! Finally after a 5 hour train journey, we arrived in Jalandhar, my hometown, and there were about 20 people to see me. Everyone’s reaction…OMG, what happened to you? You are so dark, so skinny! My grandma literally had tears in her eyes from pity for me. “Oh my poor daughter”, she said, “You’ve been drifting around the world, with nothing to eat, carrying such a heavy back pack.” Not to worry though, coz she’s told me once I drink milk and eat yogurt, I will lose my tan and get my color back. Such drama queens! It’s absolutely hilarious. So, we all sat in my granny’s room and ofcourse within 15 minutes we were talking about finding me a man. Everyone had their two cents to put in…so far, they are going to put an ad in the newspaper in the matrimonial section to find me a man, spread the word to all the relatives that I am single, get me back to a fair and lovely color. All this in one night. I knew there was a reason why I loved my family so much. Can you imagine me having an arranged marriage? That in itself is a joke! I love them so much. My friends have all been calling and coming over to visit. I am only here for 10 days and so they want to make the best use of me…i.e. party! I am an excuse for everyone to get together and go dancing coz they know I love to party. LOL! I am all partied out at the moment and just need some time to detoxify and recuperate before I go to Osho ashram. Heard there’s a party there every evening. Anyway, I can ramble on…so off I go for now!

Restless in Quito

God, what a day I´ve had! Last nite at about 7 pm, I decided to print out my eticket for my flight today. As I held it in my hand, I read and reread to make sure what my eyes were seeing was true. The fucking ticket was from Lima to Caracas instead of Quito to Caracas. I couldn´t believe my stupid travel agent made such a huge mistake. Last minute I was frantically searching for a ticket on the internet and finally got one for this morning, leaving Quito at 7:40am. Arrived at the airport promptly at 5:40 am exactly 2 hours before the flight. To my surprise, the ticket agent upgraded me to first class and that meant I had access to the lounge. I thought to myself, hey all´s well that ends well! But that was not to be! When I went to the check in gate at boarding time, I was informed that the airport was shut down due to bad weather. All the flights were delayed and apparently mine was cancelled. So, now we had to make our way back to the check in counter and try and get on a different flight. My problem is that I have to get to Caracas tonight in order to make the connection for India and that is tomorrow evening. I begged and pleaded with the ticket agent and he booked me on a flight leaving at 3:30pm and arriving Caracas at 10:30pm. I even had the balls to ask him to upgrade me to first class if possible. I thought since I have nowhere else to go in Quito, I´d just stay at the airport and enjoy the lounge. But alas, first class was full!!! However, I decided to give my luck a try and just walked back to the lounge. The girls at the counter recognized me and I smiled at them and said "I´m back"!! They smiled back and forgot to check my boarding pass. So, I sit here now in the first class lounge writing my blog :) Not bad, eh? But still, I am bored out of my tree! 3 more hours to go. I guess I´ll go and find something to eat and maybe some vino to sip!

Galapagoz or Paradise????

If I`ve ever made a decision that I have been so happy about it would have to be to change my plans and go to Galapagoz. I knew it would be a great ending to my trip but I was not prepared for what Galapagoz had in store for me. How does one comprehend something so beautiful, so perfect, so ideal?!? Galapagoz is what mother nature intended our planet to be like...air so clean that you can feel your lungs thanking you, water so clear that you can see to the bottom of the sea from your boat, animals so tame that they come within inches of you without any fear, skies so clear that you can see all the stars in the milky way! Wow, there is definitely no place like Galapagoz on this planet and I am so grateful that I got the opportunity to explore it, experience it!

So, we arrived on the gorgeous island of Baltra after a 2 hour flight. Took a dingy to our boat, our home for the next 8 days. Met the crew, the guide and the rest of the group. Our daily schedule included waking up at 6 am and going for our first exploration of the day. Mostly it was a wet landing, which meant jumping off the dingy while the waves crashed on you so you got soaking wet. Then our lovely guide, Edwin, would take us around the island pointing out all the animals and birds along the way. It`s unbelievable how tame the animals are in Galapagoz. If you are swimming, they`ll come right up to you and swim right next to you. I saw lots of sea lions, iguanas, turtles and loads of birds. My favourite birds were the boobies. Yes, that`s the name...blue footed boobies. I bought a t-shirt that says I love boobies!! There are a lot of species of animals and birds that are only found in Galapagoz and nowhere else on the planet. After the walk the first day, we had a chance to go snorkeling. I had never snorkelled before so I decided to give it a try but wanted to stay right by the shore. Edwin urged me to come along with him and promised he would hold my hand through the whole thing. So, I agreed and let him lead me into the water. The first time I put my face in the water, I was awestruck! I had never seen anything like this before. I`ve swum in the ocean many times but just stayed on the surface not even thinking about what`s underneath the surface. It was like a whole different world down there. I felt like I was flying and watching thousands of fish swimming around me. It was amazing! I saw sea turtles casually flapping, rolling about me. I was really starting to enjoy it and then Edwin pointed at something and when I looked I was startled to see a shark! My first instinct was to take my face out of the water and not look at it. I mean, it was a fucking shark and it was swimming merely a few feet away from me. Granted it was a small (about 2 ft long) reef shark but still!! But I stayed put but held on to Edwin`s hand real tight. As we were coming out of the water, right along the shore, we spotted a sting ray. I swam right on top of it, thinking the whole time about Steve Irwin!! I was in seventh heaven, so pleased that I had been exposed to a whole new world and couldnt wait to go snorkelling again. In the afternoon, after lunch, we got free time or siesta time. We sat on the deck, reading, drinking beer, just watching our surroundings. In the evenings we had another exploration. Walked around and got educated on more birds and animals. In the evenings, we sat at the deck, drinking wine, socializing, dancing. After dinner it would be time to sit on the deck chairs and watch the stars. I swear you have never seen so many stars in your life. Not only because there are absolutely no lights for miles and miles, but also we were right at the equator. That meant that we could see the constellations of both the northern and the southern hemisphere. We`d just lay there quietly and stare at the stars, with the lovely breeze, sound of fish jumping around in the water, sea lions splashing about. I have never in my life felt so much at peace. There are very few times in your life when you are in the moment and you know there isn`t another place you`d rather be. I felt like that the entire time I was in Galapagoz.

The biggest excitement of the whole trip was the day we were to go snorkelling around Devil`s crown. Apparently, it`s the best place to spot hammerhead sharks. Hammerheads are known to be around 9 to 10 meters long i.e. around 10 to 15 ft!! And this time it was going to be deep sea snorkelling, which meant we had to jump out of the dingy instead of swimming in from the shore. So, we took the dingy to the spot where we were supposed to jump in the water. It was quite choppy and our guide said to us that it would be advisable to jump in that spot only if you were a strong swimmer and comfortable snorkelling. I was quite nervous and looking for an excuse not to jump in the water that most likely had schools of sharks in it. One of the guys on our trip was a real shark enthusiast and we`d nicknamed him shark boy. He was the first one to jump in. He came up from the water and told me to jump in coz he said I was in for a treat. He promised me he wouldnt leave my side the whole time. Now, I`ve noticed that when I am faced with a situation where I am really scared, my mind just goes numb. It`s like my body just takes over and I have no control. That`s what happened. I put on my mask and just jumped into deep sea which was likely full of sharks! WOW! I still can`t get over it. I was capable of doing that!?!?! And what a treat it was. I could see right to the bottom of the sea...about 30 meters down. And there they were...sharks...about 10 or 15 Galapagoz sharks all about 9 to 10 ft long. I saw them and I wasn`t scared. I just watched them, fascinated at the grace with which they swim, fascinated at the knowledge that I was in the water with these gorgeous creatures. I have never seen so many fish in my life. All colors, thousands and thousands of them. We, however, didnt see any hammerheads, which was a bit of a disappointment, but a part of me was also a bit relieved.

Now lemme tell you about life on the boat. On the first day, during lunch we were served juice that no one could figure out what it was. I said it was probably guava juice. That reminded me how much I missed being called guava. No one had called me Ria in a long time. I told some people at my table how my group had nicknamed me guava and they really thought it was quite a good name for me. And so it began....i was being called guava again. The crew on board loved me. They waited on me hand and foot. It was great! I was the only vegetarian and man did the cook look after me. He would make these lovely concoctions and present it so beautifully for me. And then bring it to me personally. It was quite funny really. The crew, all latino men, started calling me guavita, which means little guava. It was so cute! The only other time I`ve been treated so well was in Goa when Ash and me stayed in Palolem. My cabin was cleaned twice a day, and they left little treats for me. Then Louis, our first mate, started calling me morenita, which means a little brown girl. This got changed to negrita i.e. little black girl as I progressively got darker and darker. The first time I saw a shark in the water, I panicked a bit and wanted to get out of the water and into the dingy. Louis was driving the dingy at the time and since that day he started making fun of me, telling everyone how I panicked! And one day, as he was yet again laughing at me, I told him that I`d never seen him swimming with sharks and then I went on to make the biggest mistake of my life. I called him a chicken!!! Calling a latino man chicken is apparently a big deal! It was on now! He told me that he was gonna get me when I least expected it. So, on the last nite, we were having a party on the deck. Everyone was drinking, and dancing. Then the captain and Louise came up to me and picked me up. They started carrying me down the stairs to the bottom of the boat. I knew then they were gonna throw me into the water. I started screaming, really kicking up a storm. So the captain backed off and lemme go. But Louise, put me on his shoulder and carried me down and jumped into the water with me!!! It was hillarious! I came out of the water, everyone was laughing. So, I told him that he was still a chicken. Well, I guess I asked for it coz before I knew it, I was being thrown in the water again. LOL!!

It was really hard saying goodbye to everyone. But here I am again, in Quito. My last nite here. Tomorrow I fly to Crackass...I mean Caracas, Venezuela. From Caracas I will fly to India. Can`t believe it`s all come to an end. Loved every minute of it but man I cant wait to be in India now. I cant wait to go.

ALL BY MYSELF!!!! I cant believe I just said goodbye to everyone and I am literally left by myself in Lima, Peru. I said goodbye to Sponge Bob....but she`s been with me for almost 3 months now. I cant imagine her not being there, picking on me, making fun of me, being cross with me, laughing at me, laughing with me, being her spongy self. Wow, I cant believe it all went down without too many tears. I think it might be the wine helping me through this nite and tomorrow I board the plane to Quito very early in the morning. So, its really a matter of one nite that I am ALL BY MYSELF!!!

Riaisms???...yes, i guess that`s what they are calling it! WOrds in hindi like Hai Ram, Aye hai, oh ho, na kar yaar, kuchu, chalo, so rude, and a few more! I cant believe the goras (whities) are using them, especially the two that I hang out with the most...Helga (Jess) and Sponge Bob (jen)! THe funniest was on the Inca trail when Helga slipped and fell and yelled out Hai Ram! It was so funny. It`s become part of their language. Hai Ram just means Oh God but I like it how they are making it a part of their vocab. And I think I have interested quite a few on my group to come visit me in India, esp Spongy. It would be nice to show her the country, take her to Goa, Bombay, maybe even to Jalandhar for my cousin`s wedding. Lets see how it pans out. But for now the big rendezvous is in September...Me, Sponge, Crazy and Kirsty (the girl I travelled from Caracas to Rio with). We shall be descending on the city of London and painting it red, green, and all the colors of the rainbow :) I can`t wait to see Crazy and Kirsty. I also wanna go see their hometowns, so I will be going to Exeter and Sheffield to see where these crazies come from.

Yesterday, we went to see the Nasca Lines. WOw! Took a little 5 seater cessna plane to fly over them. Nasca Lines are pics drawn in the sand dating back to 400 BC. Pics of animals like monkeys, spiders, humming birds etc, too big to appreciate from the ground. That is what makes them so amazing because they didnt have planes back in 400 BC, so why did they draw these pics? Oh, the mystery! Love it...the whole thing is so bizzare! Off to Pisco today, where we might go sandboarding and dune buggying again. Or might just decide to chill by the pool. We are finally at sea level again so now we are in the middle of Peruvian summer. Last nite was beautiful. We stayed at our gorgeous hotel...sat outside on the verandah with the cool breeze blowing, drinking some vino blanco, chatting with the buddies....oh, good times!

I cant believe the time is almost here to say goodbye though. Only 3 more days...hai ram! THen, I am on my own for a few days until i meet the rest of the group going to Galapagoz. There will be 16 of us and 8 staff on a 65 ft yacht for 9 days. Close quarters...I think they might be! Hopefully, it will be a fun group...cute guys will be a bonus ;)

Peru...I feel it´s spirit! I dont know why but Peru has really got under my skin. I enjoy everything about it...the chaotic traffic in the city, the coco leaf chewing people on the street with their green tinted teeth smiling at you, the majestic mountains, the spirituality! I love this country and am feeling it in my blood that I am going to come back for a visit very soon. I would´ve liked to stay and go into the jungle for a few weeks. Maybe try a bit of Ayahuasca. For those of you who dont know what Ayahuasca is, its supposed to be a hallucinogenic plant that is given by shamans to people who like to delve deep into their psyche. I have discovered the term ¨psychonaut¨and I think its quite apt. I had been thinking about doing this since I first heard about it in Vancouver. But since my arrival to South America, I had been thinking about it non stop until I met Brett. Brett, being the wise man that he is, told me a bit more about the ¨drug¨! Seems like it strips away layers of your ego and you come eye to eye with the real you, along with all the fears you might hold. I decided to hold off for the time being coz I dont know what I might find. But then in Peru, my tour leader, Geraldine, told me about the time she did it and how amazing it was for her and how it totally helped her get all the answers she was looking for. She also gave me a wonderful book on it that I devoured in one sitting. I loved everything about it...the fact that you do it in the jungle, in a natural environment, with real ayahuscerios! I almost decide to go do it but Sponge bob made me change my mind. I agree with her that I should go with someone I know..in case I trip out real bad. At the moment, meditation is calling me, Osho is speaking out to me and I am really excited about it. But I think, I will come back to Peru very soon. I would like to do two things when I come back. One is to go on the Inca trail with someone I love. I think its absolutely the most romantic, the most spiritual thing a couple can do together. And, secondly, I would like to go to the jungle and do drugs with this person.

Only 4 more days till this part of my tour ends. I fly out of Lima to Quito on Jan 14th. I´ll be in QUito, Ecuador for 2 days by myself. Then, off to Galapagoz islands for 10 days. Then on the 27th, I fly to India. I cant wait to get there....to see the faces of people that I love and who love me. All I am gonna do for 10 days in Jalandhar, where my granny lives, is to eat home cooked food, put oil in my hair, watch bollywood movies, play with babies! I am so gonna love every minute of it. Just fill my heart with unconditional love .... so simple and so fulfilling!

Machu Picchu...The mystical land of the Incas!!!! Happy new year everyone...hope it brings you everything you hope for. For me new year`s eve has always been a really big deal. A big party, definitely a new outfit, surrounded by friends I love, lots of drinking and dancing. A couple years ago, me and Rick threw the best new year`s party ever. Last year I was in Goa, surrounded by total strangers but me and Kanika managed to make the most of it. This year would be absolutely the most memorable new years eve of my life. When will I ever get a chance to say I was in a tent, surrounded by tall majestic mountains on the Inca trail on my way to Machu Picchu!! What a beautiful way to bring in the new year. Yes, I know it`s just another day...as a lot of people like to think of everything in life. I like to make big deals of some days out of the year. I realize that every day of the year should be memorable and important but sometimes its good to have landmark days to stop and guage your life. For me, a new year brings new energy! Time to let go of the past and look only to the future. And from where I stand now, it looks amazing! I read somewhere today that the best place for personal growth is when your ego has been shattered but still hasn`t had the time to attach itself to anything new. That`s where I am at right now. CLEAN SLATE!!! Time to write a new story.

The story begins on Dec 31st, the most anticipated day of my entire South American journey. I think Machu Picchu was the reason for me to set out on this journey. We arrived by bus to Olyantantambo, the town where the Inca trail begins. I was feeling very restless in the morning before this journey. I think I was a bit homesick...just missing my mom and dad so much. Just wanted to cry...so I called mom and cried my heart out. Thank God for mothers...what would I do without her. After that everything was smooth sailing. Went through the Sacred Valley, which was breathtaking. Drove through little villages, saw old Inca ruins and finally arrived at Olyantantamo in the evening. Got all our supplies for the Inca trail i.e. walking stick, water proof everything, warm clothes and other knick knacks.

Next morning I woke up literally vibrating with excitement! I was like a little kid in a candy store. I just wanted to get started on this journey that I had waited over 3 months for. We arrived by bus to the base of the Inca trail, where we got our passport stamped stating that we began the Inca trail. The first day was easy...i can say that because of the days that followed. But, it was still 6 hours of walking up and down the mountains, in the rain---ponchos on, ponchos off!! The first day, we walked through little villages, saw some ruins but it still seemed like we were in civilization. Arrived at our campsite at around 4 pm. We were 11 people in our group with 18 porters looking after us. We only carried our little day pack with the stuff that we might need during our hike. The rest of our stuff (sleeping bags, matteress etc) was carried by these poor porters. I cant believe the quality of service we received. We were treated like royalty the entire journey. The food was spectacular. We arrived at our campsite and our tents were all set up. We were given hot water to dip our feet in. There was a little shop where we bought some beer. But after beer and dinner, we decided to go to bed...at about 9 pm. At 11:45, we were woken up to bring in the new year. There was champagne, pisco, wine!! It was quite magical to count down to the new year in a dinner tent surrounded by mountains. For the first time, I was really at peace on new years eve even though I had no one to kiss. Last year was hard and I remember the first thing I did when the count down ended, was cry! I had been with Rick for 7 years and he was not there with me for the first time in 7 years. But this year, I was at peace. That`s what I mean about guaging how far you`ve come in your life.

Next morning we were woken up by the donkey braying outside our tent. Came out of my tent to see that I had literally landed in Old McDonald`s farm. There were chicken, pigs, ducks, cats, dogs, donkeys, guinea pigs...all roaming free among our tents. It was quite hillarious. After a lovely breakfast of pancakes, we set out on what was supposed to be the hardest hike of the four day journey. Me, Sponge and Jessica were ahead of the group and walked the entire day together. We had a lot of help from coco leaves! Felt like a right maj(cow for hindi) chewing on dried out leaves. But, it does give you a lot of energy and helps with breathing at high altitude. After all we had to climb 2000 meters in 4 hours. Straight up!! It was grouse grind x 10! But so much more magical. The highest point of our journey, dead woman`s pass, was at 4200 meters. It was a real tough climb, up the uneven, rocky steps. At one point I stopped to put on some sun screen and there was something crystally on my face. Then I realized I was literally sweating salt! But, when I arrived at the top of the dead woman`s pass, I was overcome with emotion! I looked down to see how far I had come and the entire valley was covered with clouds. I realized that I was above the clouds! I sat there, feeling the energy of the mountain....and then the tears came. OUt of nowhere...I started to cry. Not knowing why I was crying but I knew that I had to. I cried and I cried until I felt like I was completely cleansed from the inside. I think a lot of it was related to Rick. I just never allowed myself to grieve for my marriage breaking up. I just went out and started dating right away, never giving myself the space to grieve the loss of someone I loved dearly. I think I had a lot of suppressed grief that just came out at the top of the mountain. I felt so lighthearted after. I have been a whole new person since then...granted its only been 4 days :) but hey, so far I feel like a different person. What goes up, must come down...hence, we started our downhill journey from dead woman`s pass. This was harder than climbing up, especially when it started to rain. Going down slippery stones, covered in our ponchos was not the funnest but we made the most of it. Arrived at our second campsite at the foot of a massive waterfall, in the middle of the cloud forest. Yes, we were literally in the middle of the clouds. Heaven...couldnt have imagined it any other way. That nite we were told the best part of the journey was yet to come.

Next day began with a straight uphill climb for about 2 hours. After that it was supposed to be mostly flat, or rolling hills. After lunch, I decided to walk alone...and am I ever glad that I did. This was the most beautiful landscape of the entire journey. I was walking through clouds, past waterfalls, on this narrow authentic Inca trail. All I heard were birds, waterfalls and my footsteps. Its the closest I`ve ever felt to God. I felt so at one with nature, walking among these majestic mountains, on the road built thousands of years ago. Everything seemed brighter, as if I could see the energy fields of the plants! I get goose bumps when I think about it. I would be walking for hours and then around the bend, in the middle of the mountains, I would come upon an old Inca city ruin. This is how they lived, among the mountains. THey worshipped mountains, as their primary God. THat is why there is so much energy here. Arrived at the 3rd campsite...finally showers!!! Oh, did I mention there were no showers the first two days? Yes, we sweat a lot and we were extremely stinky! After the best hot shower of my life, I had the best cold beer of my life. THis campsite was very posh compared to the other two we stayed at. There was a restaurant, a bar, a discotheque and did I mention..showers!!! We all drank and danced with our lovely (yet extremely stinky) porters. It was a lot of fun. When again would I get the opportunity to go to a discotheque in my socks and sandals :)

Next morning arrived too early. We were supposed to be up at 4 am in order to reach the sun gate to watch the sunrise over machu picchu. It was pouring rain, I was tired and sleepy, and it was freezing cold! But, we got up, got dressed and started our 2 hour journey to the sun gate. Again, I opted to walk alone, away from the group. I wanted to feel one with nature again and I wasnt disappointed. Unfortunately, it was not very sunny when we arrived at the sun gate. In fact, the entire city of machu picchu was shrouded in clouds. But, it was still magical. When I first caught sight of Machu Picchu, it was breathtaking! It looked like it had a veil of clouds over it. But as I stood there, mesmerized by its beauty, the clouds lifted and the city was revealed to me. It was spectacular! Then, our lovely guide, Miguel, took us around the city and brought it to life. HOw the Incas lived, how they prayed, how they performed human sacrifices, their customs, their architecture, their spirituality! It was wonderful. THe entire city is surrounded by amazingly tall mountains. My only regret was that the clouds never fully lifted for me to see the mountains clearly. Yes it was quite amazing to see the clouds drift in and out and reveal a little bit at a time, but I would`ve liked to see the entire thing clearly atleast once. But, it was not to be. Nonetheless, I have to say, Machu Picchu not only lived up to my expectations but exceeded it! I would recommend it to anyone in a heartbeat. But I have to say, the journey was what made the destination so amazing. You can get to the city by train but I cant imagine the experience being even close to what we experienced!

I am in Cusco now and have only 9 more days left on this trip. After that 10 ays in Galapagoz and then I am off to India. I was gonna come to Vancouver for a week or so but I miss mom too much. My brother has been kind enough to get me a flight direct from Quito, Ecuador to London. Might have to be in London for a couple of days, long enough to buy some clothes and then off to India. Did I mention I am going to live in an ashram in India for 3 months! Yeah, next up, spirituality!! I am going to work and meditate, and do yoga for three months in this gorgeous ashram in Pune called Osho ashram. Should be interesting. Will keep u updated. Lots of love and good wishes for the new year.

Peru, Land of the Incas!!!!
Peru has so far been everything I could have dreamed of. The landscape, the people, the spiritual energy of this place is intense! The landscape is so old, some of the terraces were built by pre-Incas. I know it`s not as old as some of the places I have visited in India, but there is a big difference. Some of the places we have visited so far are frozen in time and people still live pretty much the same lifestyle that the Incas might have lived. They farm on the same fields, they grow the same crop, they have very little interaction with the people in the city. It is such a strange feeling…like you`ve gone back in time.

Let me tell you about the experience I had that took me back in time. We took a boat to this island on Lake Titicaca to go for a homestay with some local people. WOW!!! Cant believe how little these people have. It was a good 4 hour journey that took us to this island….(Wow..i have to tell u about something crazy that just happened. I am at an internet café in a small place called Puno and guess what song is playing. Garam masala…a hindi song!!!! I cant believe it. This is too funny. Oh, I miss bollywood)

Back to the island…The boat ride took us past these floating islands made of reed that people actually live on. These people keep rebuilding on top of the reeds every 20 or so days. It`s so strange to see these little communities floating on the lake. So, we arrived at the island we were supposed to stay on and our ´mamas´were waiting to welcome us. Island was called Amantani island, pop 5000. We were introduced to our mama, Celestina, who took us on a really long walk uphill to her house. I swear, I think I am in good shape, but when you have to walk uphill at 3500mts (12000ft), it really takes your breath away. My heart was hammering against my chest like a jackhammer, my mouth was completely dry and I felt faint after this 20 minute walk.( Did I mention, I am starting on the Inca trail in 4 days!!! Hai Ram, its scary!! ) Anyway, after this gruesome walk, we arrived at our mamas house and were shown to our room in the attic. Basically, it was a room with 4 beds and not much else, including electricity!! The toilet was a hole in the ground, and not a very deep hole. Basically, you had to go drown the log that the previous person left!!! It was disgusting.

Our mama brought us some tea, called munia tea, which is really good for altitude sickness. I was willing to give this a try after saying no to coca tea. Coca tea gave me the strangest dreams ever. After the tea, we were taken to the soccer field where the Gringos faced off with the local guys. It was quite funny cheering on the gringos and lemme tell you there were a lot of them. I guess anytime something gets listed on the Lonely Planet, it becomes part of the gringo trail. After the soccer game, we started our 1.5 km trek up the hill to watch the sunset. The highest point was 4900 mts, the same as the highest point on the inca trail. It wasn`t that hard climbing up this hill and this time it was the view at the top that took my breath away. Reminded me a lot of Saturna island back home, except for the terrace farmlands!!!

Dinner time was something I was absolutely dreading. I can sleep anywhere, use any kind of rankus mungus toilet, but when it comes to eating, I don`t like funny smells. We went to the kitchen to see if we could help our mama cook. She refused but welcomed us to sit in the kitchen. She was cooking on an open fire stove and the smell was quite overpowering. She gave us quinoa soup, with potatoes and vegetables. It tasted much better than it looked and I forced it down my throat all the time saying ´sinchi sumay´meaning it is delicious!! After the dinner experience, our mama took us to our room and began the process of dressing us in their traditional attire. We only got two skirts, but apparently these women wear upto 20 skirts at one time. WOW! That would be one heck of a long stripping session! So, we got two skirts and a long shirt tucked in these skirts. There was a belt that was tightly wound around our waists to make them look tiny…felt like a corset!!! Then, we got a shawl (can I say it fucking stank!!!) to keep warm! All dolled up, we walked to the dance hall with our head torches lighting our way. It was so much fun, dancing like crazy people, with the Peruvians. We danced till about 10:30 and called it a nite. What a crazy nite it was. Poured like cats and dogs all nite on our tin roof. It was a really cold, wet, loud, sleepless nite!

In the morning, we got pancakes and Fanny jam for breakfast. Yes, the jam was called Fanny 100% guaranteed!!! Everyone needs a little bit of fanny in their life and I got mine this morning. After breakfast, our mama walked us to the boat dock. I was really happy to say goodbye to the island and return back to civilization. It was an amazing experience but not something I would like to repeat. I cannot believe what for me was an experience for one night is their life. It is a very tough life and I really admire these people for living it with big smiles on their faces!!!

Tomorrow, we head out to Cusco, the party capital of Peru. We are gonna be there for 2 days before heading out to the Sacred Valley, where we begin our ascent on the Inca Trail on New Year`s eve!!! Will write my next blog next year. Thanks a lot to all of you for sending me such lovely wishes for Christmas. It`s nice to know that even though I am so far away, I am still in your thoughts. Ashlu, are you listening??? I miss you loads!!!

Feliz Navidad everyone!!!! It`s been three months since I embarked on this crazy adventure. I remember leaving Vancouver, saying goodbye to all my friends and family and especially Ashlu…it was all so sad and extremely scary!!! I remember thinking why I was leaving this comfortable life I am living with people that I love. But I know why…because sometimes your heart knows more than you do at a conscious level. I knew I had a yearning for travelling, seeing new places, meeting new people…hoping that somewhere along my journey I will find some reason why I am here. Who I am, what I want, which direction I want my life to go. But I have realized that the more answers I receive, the more questions arise. I have learned one thing…one big thing..and that is to accept the cards that life has dealt me. To make the most of it in the present moment without fretting about the future. I don’t know what the future has in store for me…its all so uncertain. But I have learned that uncertainity is the breeding ground for evolvement. I have to live in the present, enjoy the spectacular ride and plan for the future but not get overwhelmed by it.

So, let me tell you about my amazing ride in the last few days. Bolivia, esp LaPaz was probably the dirtiest, stinkiest, weirdest city I have visited on this journey. But it is definitely also one of the cities that boasts character. This is one city that is not trying to be European, not trying to be hip, it is very south American!!! The clothing, the attitude, the food. Speaking of food…can I say its all about Llamas, Alpacas, Guinea Pigs!! The worst of it all is they sell this food on the street. Llamas fucking stink like death!! Went to the witch`s market where they sell all kind of scary stuff like dried out Llama skeletons, llama fetuses, and then some normal stuff like alpaca fur scarfs, sweaters and shit. The kinda stuff that screams BACKPACKERS!!! I resisted the temptation but both Sponge and Jess are now certifiably backpackers and I am not just talking about their clothes…

Christmas arrived in La Paz. We wandered around the city square looking for xmas celebrations. It was very tame though, with the exception of street markets that sold really trashy plastic toys and decorations for Christmas. We did find a Latino Santa to ask him to bring us gifts for xmas. I only asked for one thing but didn’t get it. Ashlu, are you listening? Two nites before xmas was really sad coz we again had to say our goodbyes. I hate saying goodbyes, esp when you know you are never gonna see these people again. Said goodbye to Maharani, Jose, Jason and Jerry. Now, we are on the last leg of the tour. The next 21 days it`s just the 10 of us and Geraldine, our tour leader. So, we went out for a big nite out to say our goodbyes. Met loads of people, danced like crazy, drank a lot…a great great fun nite out!!! The next day though was depressing and we all walked around moping until that nite. Went out dancing again and met loads of backpackers. On Christmas eve, we went out for a turkey dinner to a place called Mongos. We were all feeling a little restless and out of place all day so we decided to start drinking early…around 5 pm. Watched Christmas music on tv, drank, donned our santa hats and headed out for our Christmas dinner. Once we got there, it felt a bit more normal coz there were a lot of other people doing the exact same thing as us.

Next morning, on Christmas day, we headed out early to catch our bus to Puno, in Peru. The bus took us through beautiful, yet depressing Bolivian countryside. It was depressing coz at each bend, there were little kids begging for money. I was thinking the contrast was so strange…back home kids would have been opening beautiful gifts from Santa and for the kids here it was just another day. Just another day of trying to get some food. We do live in a very privileged world and should really be grateful for everything little thing we have.

The bus journey brought us to Lake Titicaca, the highest lake in the world, at 3900 mts. We stopped in a little town for some lunch and then boarded another bus that took us across the border to Peru. Peru is the 9th country I would be visiting on this journey so far. In Bariloche, Argentina I was going through such a hard time that I almost called it quits. But the only thing that kept me going was the thought of coming to Peru and going on the Inca trail. I had to keep going and I am so glad and so proud of myself for staying strong and continuing my journey.

More adventure than we bargained for....

So, after chilling out and partying for 2 days, I was ready to feel the adrenaline rush through my body again. So, I went and booked myself for a paragliding adventure. Me, and 4 others in my group got up real early and headed out to the cliff where we were supposed to jump off of. It was about a 2 hour ride where u see nothing at all for miles. Just barren mountains and fields as far as eye can see. But then suddenly, we`d see some random person walking. Where the hell were these people coming from and where the hell were they walking to? There was nothing, literally NOTHING for miles and miles. But apparently, that`s what Bolivians do. Since they dont have any money to afford cars or even public transport, they just walk from one town to another...no matter how far they might have to walk.

So, we were driving along this paved road and suddenly we veered off onto yet another dirt path which is not really a road. This path was going to take us to the top of the mountain. And, I think this was the scariest drive ever. Nothing but a sheer cliff and an asshole of a driver, who thought it was hillarious how the gringos were getting scared. Anyway, got to the top of the mountain and had to walk through some poor village`s crops to get to the edge of the cliff. They set up their instruments for guaging the wind force and directions. Now, back home I`d seen these instruments had a bunch of dials and numbers on them. But here in Bolivia, they think a stick in the ground with some toilet paper on it does the trick. So, first up was Anthony a.k.a Raton (mouse in spanish) and he was strapped in. THe guide told him to start running when the toilet paper was flapping in his direction. And then he was off!!! It looked really scary the way he ran to the edge of the cliff. So, after watching this, I was beginning to have second thoughts about my decision. When the time came for me to jump...i was panicking! I sat by myself and thought of all the reasons I couldn`t do it...and not one made any sense. SO, i strapped myself in and when the toilet paper faced me, and my guide told me to run...i fucking ran!!! It was the weirdest feeling to keep running to the edge of the cliff when everything inside you is yelling at you to stop. And then before i knew it I was floating, rising, flying!!!! It was incredible. I felt like all the burden of fear was left on the ground and I was free like a bird! I felt like a bird, coz i couldnt see anything but the ground...couldnt see the seat i was strapped in, couldnt see the parachute, couldnt see the guide. We swooshed around for about 10 mins and then came time for landing. My guide told me to run as soon as we touched the ground...and I told him there was no way I was gonna do that. And sure enough...i landed PLOP on my ass! Apparently, as per John and Ayesha who were watching me land, I bounced a couple of times! Imagine coming down from about 2000ft and landing on ur ass! It doesnt feel good....but it was quite funny.

After me, was Sponge and then the real adventure began. After she landed, we were waiting for the asshole driver to come down the mountain and get us so we could head back to our hotel. We waited for 2 hours for the ride that should have taken only 20 mins. Raton was in the van with the driver so were really starting to get worried. We were sure that he went over the cliff or something. Now, it was 4 of us gringos and our spanish speaking guide in the middle of a tiny village with literally 10 houses, no cars, no telephones, no water. After 2 hours, we decided we had to take some action...so we started to make our way to the street. We decided to hitchike and after our guide got rejected a couple of times, I had to take over. I flagged down a construction truck and in my really broken spanish and a lot of flirty eyes I begged him to take us with him. He agreed and we hopped in the back of the truck. This was the funniest thing...every time we hit a pothole (and we hit a lot of them), a cloud of dust would arise and completely envelope us. I have never been so dusty and dirty and stinky in my life. It was a load of fun but we were still worried about Raton. But when we got back to the hotel, Raton showed up. Apparently the jeep had broken down and they had to walk down the cliff face, and hitchhike their way back to the hotel. So, then now we had a good excuse to drink!!! To celebrate our adventure. Today, I am doing absoluetly nothing...taking a day off from my vacation. Gonna catch up on my emails, read, watch tv, heal my sore ass. Just chill chill, just chill!!!

On another note, life has been really good in general. Have been reading loads, getting a lot of love from back home. Parents, family, friends are filling up my life with love. Life is a mystery, ain't it?

From the driest desert in the world, thru the salt flats above the andes to the highest and the most depressing city in the world...what a journey it`s been in the last 10 days. After the last posting, we went to the oasis in the Atacama desert. The place looked like something out of this world, another planet, maybe what I would imagine the lunar surface to look like. It was weird how there was this real touristy town in the middle of nowhere. We rented bikes and decided to go sand boarding. The bike ride was real tough coz of the altitude (2900meters) and a little bit of exertion was making us dizzy. But sand boarding was rather fun but not an experience I would like to repeat. I can`t say I am a fan of having sand in my chucha (the spanish word for u know what!!)But I did enjoy visiting the inca ruins and the bike riding although at the end of the day I had a very sore and very sandy chucha. Had to put on pants saying ´closed for business´!

Atacama desert was our last stop in Chile and so the next morning we made our way to Bolivia. The Bolivian-Chilean border crossing is the funniest thing I`ve ever seen in my life. It's at approximately 12000ft and there is absolutely nothing there but a little office where they pretend to check ur passport. Anyway, we had our breakfast at this border crossing and set out in 3 4x4's to cross the antiplano (area above the andes) over the next three days. THe drive was breathtaking...green lagoons, red lagoons, white lagoons, flamingoes, llamas!! The pics speak for themselves coz it`s hard to put such beauty in words. We drove and drove for three days, stopping to take pics of these beautiful sites, staying the night in weird villages in the middle of nowhere! Finally after two days of driving we arrived at the salt hotel. This hotel is made of salt bricks...trust me I checked. The walls tasted very salty!! Beautiful hotel..but by this time all of us were exhibiting signs of altitude sickness...tiredness, headache, nausea, vomiting! But the troopers that we are, we drank some hardcore BOlivian alcohol and made the most of the nite. THe next morning started at 4 am to go see the sunrise. It was the most spectacular experience..to be sitting on what used to be an island in the middle of a salt lake and watching the sunrise. Sitting on top of the hill, u could see nothing but salt as far as eye could see. It looked like a sea of salt! Hard to imagine there used to be water and marine life there at one time. Very surreal! But after the sunrise, we set out on one of the longest journey`s of my trip. We drove and drove for hours and arrived in Potosi, the highest city in the world, at 11 pm. The bus that took us to Potosi was so battered that it was a miracle it could even drive on a flat road let alone the heights it was scaling! It was the most nerve wracking journey...sheer cliff on one side and a high mountain on the other, in the dark, with no lights. We were on what could definitely not pass for a road. It was at best a very narrow dirt road with two way traffic and lots of Llamas on it. When we came upon any oncoming traffic, our driver would stop the bus, get out with his flashlight to see how far we were from the edge of the cliff and to see if we were gonna be able to cross without going over the edge. In the end the decision would be made to cross each other real fast and see whatever happens! Gives the term living on the edge a whole new meaning!! I read my book (with a flashlight coz there were no lights inside the bus) to keep myself occupied with something other than the harrowing drive.

Finally, arrived in Potosi, a very dark, depressing, sad city. The city is known for its silver mines and we went to visit these mines, which again would have to be one of the most depressing things I`ve done on my trip so far. THe people working in the mines are as young as 12 y.o. and their average lifespan is about 10 to 20 years. SO, a kid who starts working in the mines at 12 should not expect to live past 30. These people work 12 to 14 hours a day, 7 days a week!! Very sad...went straight from the mines back to the hotel to drown our sorrows in alcohol. Just so happened it was Maharani`s birthday. We had a cake waiting for her and starting drinking at about 5pm. What started as a sad, depressing day ended up being quite a fun filled, eventful day after all. There`s so much we have to thank alcohol for :)

At the moment we are in Sucre, the capital of BOlivia. It`s a much better city than Potosi, especially our hotel. It`s a beautiful, colonial style hotel with a courtyard. Last nite was a crazy nite since we had three birthdays to celebrate. Went out drinking, followed by some real bad drunken karyoking. I can`t believe we actually got up on the stage in a club and sang `girls just wanna have fun`. It was hillarious how all the other people there were so serious about their singing. It was almost like they were auditioning for American Idol or something. But we had a great time and made total asses of ourselves. After that we went to a club and danced till 5 in the morning. Drank too much, and unfortunately smoked too much as well. My lungs and liver are recuperating today. TOmorrow I am finally gonna go jump off a cliff...i mean go paragliding! A little bit scared but mostly looking forward to it. Will keep u posted on how it goes.

THE TALES OF GUAVA (my new nickname):
So here I am again after three weeks of no blogging...and what an amazing journey I`ve been through..both physical and emotional. I have pushed myself to the edge both physically and emotionally and have come back triumphant!!! I pity the people who dont rise to challenges in their lives for the fear of the unknown, for the fear of losing, for the fear of not making it!!! But I have decided never to live my life like that any longer coz each time u r faced with a hurdle in your life, and each time u think u can`t make it past this one, and each time u pull yourself together and make it past it, you get stronger!!! I have surprised myself with my own inner strength...I have learned so much about myself and what I am capable of. Ashley, you will be very proud to know that I have not used any valium since I last spoke to you. I have found a good replacement for valium...i.e. running! I have started running in the mornings and I need to thank Michael for that. Michael has been a great source of inspiration and motivation in my life. It is amazing how when u need people in your life, they just turn up. For someone who doesnt travel long term, its hard to understand how anyone can not have fun on their vacation. There is a huge difference between travelling and vacations. When u r travelling for months on end, just moving from one place to another, away from your friends and family, away from anything ´normal´it can get a bit overwhelming sometimes. I have always said that I am the luckiest person I know and I still believe that. I have met some amazing people who have extended themselves to me...my fav five so far are Brett, Marisa aka Crazy, Jennifer aka Sponge Bob aka Spongy, Carolina aka Maharani and Michael who calls me Goddess Ria. I can`t say I have a problem with that name. Marisa is a rock, strong, independent, funny, caring. Reminds me a lot of you Larissa and her best friend`s name is also Laura :) Spongy is a goofball. If I am sad, she makes me laugh, mostly at my expense. But she`ll make goofy faces, dance like sponge bob, has an amazing sense of humor and I love her. She reminds me a lot of Ashley, they share the same birthday and also the same sense of humor, and the same pasty white colored skin. For example, she said to me today if I needed to go read this morning. I know only Ashley will get that joke but I am glad I have her with me for most of the trip. HI I AM THE SPONGE, AND APPARENTLY I AM A GOLFBALL, VERY WHITE AND A LITTLE BIT ROUND! Lol! Sorry, the sponge just took over writing and she`s laughing at me...AGAIN for being so cheesy! Anyway, moving on...Carolina is our trainee tour leader and she always is there to listen to me and also to provide us good material for humor. I must admit, she is the butt of a lot of jokes me and spongy come up with. She has such a cute Spanish accent and we make fun of her coz we think she is in love with a guy on our tour. Michael is an inspiration, when we go running, we talk about a lot of stuff that a lot of men won`t talk about. The fact that he is gay may make him a little bit more in touch with his feelings. Me and him share the same birthday so I think he has a very clear insight into my personality. He knows all my insecurities, my passions, my ambitions, without me really voicing it to him. He has really helped me figure out what I might wanna do with my life. And last but not least, Brett. Brett is such a fine human being, he really extends himself to people in his life. He is so positive and everytime we chat, or email, his optimism rubs off on me. I am so lucky that I have been able to make such great life long friends.

Now lemme tell u about what I have been up to in the last three weeks. I have been white water rafting, canopying, almost went paragliding but the weather was too unstable to jump off the cliff so i`ll have to do that in Sucre, climbed a volcano 4000 ft in one day, went horse back riding! It`s amazing when I look back at my life and I wonder where all that fear came from. And all the amazing experiences I was denying myself because of inexplicable fears. Climbing that volcano was absolutely fantastic. It took us 4 hours to do the climb. First we had to get to the base and we had to do that on a chair lift. My first time on the chair life was last April with Ashley in Whistler. I was so scared and it was only on a little bunny hill. This was a very high chair lift and the kicker was it didn`t even have a bar. I was amazed at how relaxed I was. The climb was tough, zig zagging our way up the snow covered mountain. Every time I looked up, the climb looked really daunting, but every time I looked back, it was breathtaking and would encourage me to keep going. But when I made it to the top, I was in tears. I could not believe the beauty of nature. I was standing at the top of the volcano, on the snow, looking inside the crater, while the earth roared and spit out hot molten lava literally a hundred feet away from me. We went for a bit of a walk along the edge of the crater. I was right behind the guide at this point and I asked him if he realized that what we were doing was absolutely insanely crazy. We were walking on the edge of the crater, not wide enough for two people to walk side by side. On one side of this ledge was the crater (no fence around it) emitting hot lava, on the other side was snow covered cliffs. Either way you fell, you were not gonna come out alive! It was exhilirating and the downhill sliding was so much fun. I have never felt so much like a kid for a long time. We wore these bum sliders on our bums and literally slid down the 8000 feet of snow with nothing but an ice axe to slow us down. Obviously in the beginning i was a bit scared of the speed and I kept using my axe to slow myself down. But as I got used to it, it was so much fun and i forgot to use my axe. Loved it but I have to say that was probably the max I can physically push my body to do in one day. Until ofcourse the Inca trail.

Chile is one of the most beautiful countries. We went to the end of the Pan American highway and Michael was gonna take a pic of me trying to hitchhike at the end of the highway. But we couldn`t find a sign that indicated the end of the highway. Penguins were beautiful when we finally got to the island of Chiloe. It was literally at the bottom of the earth. Tonite a 16 hour bus ride will take us to the desert oasis of Atacama. It is the driest desert in the world. We are gonna take horses into the valley of the moon. After that we make our way to the salt flats of BOlivia. But I will write about it when I have done that. There wont be any kind of communication with the outside world for a few days. BUt i am going to continue blogging from now on. Thanks a lot for ur love and support.

2 months today!?!?! Wow, two of the most eventful, adventurous, tumultuous months of my life. Seeing new places, meeting new people, experiencing new things, finding some peace somewhere. Rio to Buenos Aires was a very different leg of the tour. It was more about partying, drinking, and all that shit. We went from one city to the next, with not much physical activity other than getting drunk and going out dancing. Waking up every morning with a hangover, dragging myself through the day checking out city sights. Uruguay was beautiful...especially Montevideo. But the whole trip was leading up to Buenos Aires for me. I couldn`t shake the feeling that something was gonna happen there. That my trip will change from there on. We took a boat from Colonia, Uruguay to Buenos Aires, Argentina. As we were sailing into the port, I felt electrified by the energy of the city. It is such a beautiful city, aptly named Paris of South America. Gorgeous buildings, electric energy and finally have to say gorgeous men!!! I haven`t seen so many gorgeous men in one place and they let u know if they find u attractive. I loved the energy of the city as much as I loved the energy of New York.

I met Larissa`s friend, Brett in Buenos Aires. He has been living in BA teaching english and learning spanish for about a year now. I spent a lot of time hanging out with him. He showed me all the sights in BA, made me eat empanadas (argentian samosas), drink mate (argentenian version of tea), but most of all he was there for me when I was about to have a nervous breakdown. Yes, I had a total meltdown in BA. Went out partying in BA, drank a lot of redbull and partied like a crazy woman until 7:30 in the morning. Next morning, however, I was a complete mess. I have never felt so much anxiety and restlessness in my life. I was shaky (probably due to the fact that I drank 3 redbulls in one night), i was tired from the lack of sleep. We had to check out of our rooms at 9 am so I got back to the hotel at 8 am, showered and went to check out. Thankfully our tour leader arranged for one room where we could leave our bags coz our bus didnt leave until 7 pm. I was really tired and tried to get some sleep but it was absolutely impossible. My mind was going crazy, thousand thoughts a minute, but my body was soooooo tired. I lay there until 2 coz I was going to see Brett for lunch. We went out to eat at this cafe and he was saying something to me but I felt like I couldn`t focus on anything. I needed a valium to get rid of this anxiety and he happened to have some at his house. We went over to his place and I had my first experience of valium. I have to say it`s a wonder drug...how I came back from this state of anxiety, where I felt like if I gave in to it, I wouldn`t return. It`s hard to explain, but i felt like if I shed one tear, then I wouldn`t be able to stop crying ever!! Brett was very kind and patient with me, listened to me, held me when I cried. Such a gentle, kind human being! We went out for sushi after and he was looking at the menu to figure out what kind of vegetarian options they had for me. I dont know what I was thinking, maybe it was the valium speaking, but I told him I wanted to eat sushi. And I absolutely loved it! I cant believe I`ve lived in Vancouver for so long and not ever wanted to experience sushi. No more, I am definitely converted!

Since BA, the restlessness hasn`t really gone away. Me and Brett spent a long time talking about life and he asked me a lot of probing questions about my life. He helped me bring out a lot of shit that I had buried inside (I think, Brett, it`s time u quit ur teaching job and become a full time psychologist). Now that all the fears have surfaced, I am suddenly faced with them. The problem is, I am overwhelmed by all of this information and I cant hide from the reality of itany longer. I feel like the last year of my life has been so tough and I fought hard to stay afloat. I fought with every last ounce of my strength. Now, I don`t have the resources to fight any more. I am finding it really hard now to enjoy anything. I have been hanging out by myself a lot, away from the group. I havent talked to anyone lately, my parents, my family, my friends. I have broken up with Ashley...he doesnt need to be a part of my messy life. Everything is just messy right now. Thank God for valium, but I am scared of getting hooked on it. The feeling of calmness it brings is addictive but when the effect wears off, it starts again. The feeling of restlessness, the questions pop up again one at a time, until I cant deal with them any more. I might have to throw in the towel and quit my trip if this feeling continues. The only place I find any peace is in nature. Yesterday, I went for a hike by myself and it was beautiful. When u r in the mountains, with no one around, when u can hear the fluttering of butterfly wings, its not very hard to be at peace. Today, I went for a long walk by this beautiful lake and just sat on the rocks listening to the waves, watching the birds. That brings me peace. I think that`s what I need to do for now. Find joy in little things every day and slowly inch my way out of this sadness. If I dont write for a while, I think you all will understand. Thanks for ur support and love.

I can´t believe I am done with Brazil. 45 days in this country sounded so long but went by so fast. We did end it with a bang though at Iguassu Falls. What a site!!! We walked right up to Devil´s throat...and stuck our tongues in it...LOL! But yeah, we went right to the mouth of the biggest falls and it was such and intense experience! I was moved to tears. Just being in a place like that..nature at it´s best, u feel so tiny, so small, so insignificant! I love the fact that I am getting the opportunity to see such amazing places.

Went to Paraguay yesterday to shop for some cheap electronics. Its about a 15 min walk over the bridge from Brazil. I had to sneak in illegaly coz I needed a visa to get in. We were there for about 2 hours and I bought two bottles of wine for $5...two bottles of Chilean wine Santa Helena!!! Wow, what is my life coming to...risking so much for a cheap bottle of wine! Lemme tell u I really enjoyed every sip of that wine.

Last nite was a real fun nite out. We wanted to go out dancing but apparently it was tuesday and no one goes dancing here on tues nite. Well, bollocks to that!!! So we had to make do with going out drinking. After a couple of real strong gin and tonics, we started playing real fun games. Games which involved us talking about our craziest sex escapades and more!!! This could have only led to one thing...more drinking!!! We laughed, we drank, I finally got a kiss on my mouth (even though it was only from Kirsty). We convinced Marissa to extend her trip to Santiago, not that Ms. Spongebob Squarepants needed much convincing! But we are all really happy she is coming with us all the way to Santiago. All in all it was a very fun girls nite out! But we paid dearly for it all day today. Jen, the cutie pututie, was whining all day today about how hung over she was. She is such a cutie. I asked her to talk dirty to me last nite and she said the word `bottom`. How very English of her!!!

Now we are about to leave on a nite bus to Uruguay, where we have been told thermal spas await us!! AHHHHHHH...life is tough sometimes, isnt it! I will post masterpieces from last nite next time I get on the computer. Gotta run now amigos.

WOW! Its been a while since I last posted anything. I´ve been constantly on the move lately. So much to see and so little time. Rio was unbelievable! One of the most gorgeous big cities I have ever seen. I expected it to be a lot dirtier than it is. We flew into Rio on a red eye and were informed that we only have 2 days to do Rio. Got to our hotel and took a bit of a nap and booked ourself on the gringo tour. First on the tour was a soccer game. It was a very important intercity soccer game and so us gringos (if u can consider my black ass that) were herded over to the stadium. It was the craziest sport I´ve ever watched. It was like going to a concert coz we were dancing, jumping, screaming the entire time. We met so many locals and other gringos, drank beers and screamed our heads off. It was a riot when our team scored the final victory goal. INSANITY!

After the soccer match, we were to go to a party that nite. We were picked up at 10 pm and were to be brought back at 4 am. Me and Kirsty were really looking forward to this party coz we hadnt really met other gringos in a while. Thought it would be fun to finally dance and drink with some english speaking people. But the party was absolutely disgusting. It was such a meat market....vegas x 100!!!! Basically, the whole idea of the party was to hook up the gringos with the locals. The Brazilian women are undoubtedly very beautiful and VERY EASY. The ugliest gringo man can go up to the most gorgeous latino woman and snog her before even asking her name and its quite alright. Same with men. Beautiful men, gorgeous bods, with their shirts off, glistening with sweat, will grab u and try and kiss u before they say a single word. And why would they need to when most of the gringo women were quite happy with them sticking their tongues their throats. At the end of the party, we got a T-shirt saying `Dont be a gringo, be a local`. I think it should have read `Be a gringo, do a local`. That would´ve been more apt way to describe the party.

So, we arrived back at our hotel at about 5 am and next morning we were picked up at 9:30 for a tour of the favela. Now, this was the best part of Rio. People in the favela were super friendly, smiling, welcoming and the favela was surprisingly clean. It was a very happy place and had an amazing energy about it.

Now, that nite was the my last nite with Kirsty and I was to meet the people on my next group. There are 7 people on this tour from Rio to Buenos Aires...6 women and one man. 4 out of 6 girls are going around the world solo. I had pretty much decided to put my plans on hold for further travel. But, looks like I have a very strong indication that I am going to keep going. Every day is different. Every day I meet new people. Every day I get new ideas. Every day is new. Life is good. I do sometimes miss my family but then I call them. THe other day I called and they put me on speaker phone and it felt like I was physically there and now I feel recharged and refreshed. I am finding it hard to keep my blog going now. THere is so much going on that its hard to document...went for a long 7 hour hike, was stuck in another storm in a boat, went on a 10 hour booze cruise, was on a 21 hour bus journey, and all of this in the last four days. Wow, what an adventure. Gotta keep it going till I cant do it any more. Goodbye Brazil, hello Uruguay!!!

These days I perpetually have the song `what a wonderful world` playing in my head. Last place that I visited was truly paradise on earth...a gorgeous little village called Pipa. We stayed in this gorgeous posada (hostel) in this gorgeous village. I don´t think I have adjectives to describe the beauty of this place. We arrived after travelling for 12 hours on 2 different buses. Met a guy at the first bus station who decided to take me under his wing and become my tour guide. He was a local Brazilian guy and guess he saw me with my Canadian passport in my hand. That´s it...he decided that he needed to take care of me. He started asking me where I was going and that he would book the tickets for me. Any time the bus driver would make any announcements in the bus (buses are like airplanes here...pilots talk to passengers), he would come over to my seat to translate it for me. It was quite funny when I finally told him that Camilla, my tour guide, spoke Portugese. I think he was shattered and didnt try and talk to me after that. Poor guy!!!

Since the bus ride was so long, they served us drinks. By the time the bus attendant (guess that´s what u would call him) came over to our seat, he had run out of soft drinks. So Kirsty and I decided to get hammered on the bus. It was quite funny!! This was a good way to arrive to our gorgeous destination. We got to our Posada, freshened up and headed out to find food, booze and parties!!! We found crepes, we found beer but unfortunately no parties. The reason was they stopped serving alcohol at midnite coz the next day was election day. I cant believe how big elections are in Brazil. It is mandatory for people to vote and they have a fuckin dry day the day before elections. Anyway, we met some nice local people who were gracious enough to invite us to their house for a party. But we were quite tired after the long journey and decided to call it a nite.

Next morning, me and Kirsty chilled out at the beach, drinking beer, watching surfers all day. That evening was one of my fav evenings of the whole trip. Went back to the posada after a long day at the beach and just chilled out in the hammock for hours. The guy next door to us was playing his guitar, there was such a gorgeous breeze, and I was so at peace. I didnt wanna be anywhere but there in that moment. It was one of the most peaceful and beautiful moments of my life. Next morning was even more beautiful. We went kayaking thru the mangroves! I had never been kayaking before so I was a bit scared at first but got a hang of it really fast. I had such an amazing time going thru those mangroves..it was so quiet, so peaceful!!! I had tears in my eyes when we were paddaling back. I feel like I missed out on so much in my life in the years that I spent with Rick. It is so sad when u have to give up so much of who u are for another person. But I am glad that I am back now...enjoying things that I like to do...living for myself for once.

Spa day? What..in the middle of nowhere? And its free? Sign me up!!!! Yes, it was such a luxurious spa day in the middle of the jungle in Paranaiba. We took a little tuk tuk boat and rode on the river thru the mangroves. Saw monkeys looking for oysters, crabs feeding along the river, lots of colorful birds and fish jumping out of the water. It was just me and Kirsty on the trip with the tour guide and a couple of native boat drivers. After cruising thru the mangroves we ended up at another sand dune. We had to wade thru water full of jelly fish to get to the sand dune. As soon as we got on top of the dune, I realized we were at a beach. Its so strange to see the ocean and the waves crashing on sand dunes. It´s quite dramatic how nature moves here. You can see sand and water meeting and making squishy land!! Anyway, we found this little natural pool to swim in. The sand there was just the right kind to use as a scrub. Thus began our spa day. We scrubbed our bodies head to toe and washed it with sea salts. This was followed by a mud pack. The mud in the mangroves is apparently very good for the skin. When crabs dig their holes, they bring out the good mud.So our poor tour guide went to the crab holes to the get this mud. Now we had mud packs on our entire body. After baking in the sun for a few minutes, we washed the mud packs off with sea water. So, now it was off to find some fresh water to take off all the sea salts from our bodies. After all this, our skin was so soft and glowing! It was a wonderful way to have a spa holiday.

Right now I am in a place called Jeriococara. Its supposed to be one of the 10 most beautiful places on the planet. Kite surfers and wind surfers heaven...thus there is huge abundance of gorgeous sunkissed bodies here. Very easy on the eyes if you know what I mean ;) And due to the kind of sport activities here, it is more of a sausage party. A couple nites back we went out at nite and got trashed. Met some gorgeous Spanish fire fighters who were also professional kite surfers...NICE!!! Spent the nite at one of the many street bars drinking with these spanish boys. The gorgeous one, Nacho, bought me a drink called farmacia. Basically, it is a mixture of all kind of liquors i.e. gin, whisky, rum, vodka, and whatever else. It tasted like shampoo...yuck!! But I sipped on it all nite. From the street bar, we went to a local party where we watched the locals dancing, twirling, salsaing so gracefully. I find it very intimidating to dance among these people coz they are soooooooooooo good! One of these days, I would like to take some professional lessons and then go out for nite in town. Maybe Rio or Salvador. We´ll see!!!

Took a nite bus last nite and arrived in this town called Fortaleza. We are at a nice hotel today, had a long nap and now I am just catching up on some internetting. Probably go see a movie later or something mellow like that. Our hotel is right on the beach though so i think i´ll go for a long walk later. Just mellow stuff today until we head out to a little village on the coast next. More kayaking in the mangroves, watching dolphins, swimming there!!! Until then....

So, it´s been a month since I started my trip. Wow, where did it go?!!? Sometimes it feels like I´ve been travelling for ages and other times I am scared that it´s all going too fast. But then I remind myself that I am only 1/4 of the way through my journey. Already I´ve packed so much in this month that I feel like I have enough stories for a lifetime. I am constantly challenging myself here, pushing myself to every limit I possibly can. I have been in a boat crash, I´ve been thrown around like a kite in a cessna, I´ve been on a 4x4 on sand dunes, I´ve been in a crazy rainstorm in the middle of the Amazon jungle, I´ve been to cities so remote that there are no paved roads leading up to them! I have been the most scared than I´ve ever been, I´ve been the most hungry than I´ve ever been, I´ve been the stinkiest than I´ve ever been, I´ve been most at peace than I´ve ever been!

My journey so far is going to a place, seeing all the sites that place has to offer, taking part in the activities that place has to offer and then packing our backpacks and moving on to the next place and doing it all over again. Yes, it´s a bit tough coz we seem to be constantly on the move. Today, we arrived in a city after spending 2 hours in a 4x4 van on really bumpy sand dunes...followed by 3 hours on a local bus with no air conditioning in the middle of 40 degree heat. Needless to say I am fucking stinking right now. And we are only staying here for 2 days including today. So, yes...I do get tired some times. But I would not trade this for anything back home right now. I would rather have the constant stimulation of seeing new places, experiencing new things...having my days jam packed with activities EVERY DAY!!!!

The best part of travelling, however, is meeting people. We meet different people everyday. It seems like the travellers are a whole different breed of people. For instance, a couple nites back, me and Kirsty (my roommate) were sitting in a pizzaria in a shit hole city trying to figure out the Portugese menu. The waiters did not speak any english and we obviously dont fala portugese!! So, we were trying to figure out what the difference between Cerveja Lata and Cerveja Garaffa would be. Kirsty said that garaffa probably meant refrigerated but I seemed to think it was a large bottle (coz it sounded like giraffe). We were arguing about this when we saw a guy walking by who we had seen in the city we were in the nite before. We called out to him and asked him if he spoke english. We were in luck..not only did he speak english coz he was an american but he also spoke fluent Portugese. He asked us if he could join us for dinner and we ofcourse welcomed him with open arms. Next, 2 French guys strolled into this pizzaria. We had gone to the sand dunes in the same group with these guys the day before. We said hi and sure enough now we had 5 people in our group. As the cerjevas garaffas (I was right...it did mean large beer) started pouring in, I saw a couple walking by that I had seen at a beach a few days back. I called out to them and asked them if they were at a beach in Sao Luis a couple days ago and they said yes. We asked them to join us and they sure did. And then there were 7 plus our tour leader showed up as well. So, within a half hour of me and Kirsty being bored, we were at a table with 2 French men, One American/Portugese guy, One Belgian couple and us. THe mileu of languages, the accents, the conversation...it was fantastic. We ended up spending 5 hours there, drinking, talking about spirituality, travelling, politics, religion, etc.etc.etc. Its amazing how quickly people open up to each other when they are travelling. Daniel (the american/portugese) guy was thinking of moving back to Brazil coz he doesnt like the american culture. SO, he was travelling around Brazil trying to look for a place that calls to him. Infact, he said he´d been travelling around the world doing that for about a year and a half. It was interesting talking to him coz that´s what I am doing right now. It´s nice to know that there are other restless souls like me out there coz back home I just dont seem to fit. I don´t even know which place I could call home any more. My mom was asking me to finish my trip in SOuth America and just come back home to Vancouver. I shudder at the thought of that at the moment. I´ll keep going until I can´t anymore. For now, I am loving every minute of it.

Rolling...rolling...rolling down the river

Yeah...5 days on a boat full of people packed like sardines, with nothing to eat but salad and rice for lunch and dinner, I can safely say I am feeling a bit homesick and tired right now. It´s been three weeks since I have had a proper cooked meal, something that was actually on a burner and cooked and warm. All I have had is boiled eggs, omeletes, salads, bananas for food. I am craving...absolutely craving for a warm meal. But, back to the boat. Yes, we regretted the moment we got on the boat. There were about 200 people on the boat with nothing to sleep on but hammocks. We were, however, given cabins to sleep in. I´ve never felt so royal with so little in my life before. The cabin was no bigger than my bathroom at home with bunk beds and included a shower and a toilet. All that in about 5x5 sqft. area. Needless to say you could shower sitting on the toilet...literally!!!

There was absolutely nothing to do on the boat. There was a deck where there was always trashy brazilian music blaring and no one on the boat spoke english. We did, however, meet 2 english speaking travellers, one from malaysia and one from Ireland. Breakfast was served at 6 am sharp. It was a battle between hunger and sleep at that time...and usually sleep won! It´s really hard to drag urself out of bed at that ungodly hour just to stuff ur face. Anyway, after breakfast, I would find a chair and go and sit on the deck looking out at the Amazon forest. It was quite an amazing site though...just cruising down the amazon river passing by some of the world´s very remote virgin forests, ocassionaly passing thru some indian (indegionous people) villages. I was left alone with nothing but my thoughts. It´s nice to figure things out about oneself and I got a really long time to do it.

Sunsets were gorgeous followed by evening of drinking a lot of beer so u could sleep well. I did meet the boy I am going to marry when he is a little older. Awwwwww...isn´t he cute? His name is Louis Edwardo and he´s the cutest Latino I´ve met so far. Caio for now. Gotta get on the night bus to Sao Luis. Finally getting to the coast. THe next 3 weeks is all about beaches, beaches and more beaches!!! Can´t wait :)

Finally walked the Amazon...

So, after the last posting we took a night bus for 12 hours, crossed the border over to Brazil, and arrived in the city of Manaus. We are 3 degrees south of the equator now and man is it ever hot! If this is what winter feels like (45 C) then I don´t even wanna think what their summers are like. This city is literally in the middle of the rainforest…so needless to say we arrived in Manaus in the middle of a rainstorm!!! Yes, there was lightening, thunder and a torrential rain shower and the streets almost looked like streams and I found myself longing for a boat instead of a car. Yes, I can safely say after the activities of the last few days, I am pretty much over my fear of boats! I have, however, developed a bit of a fear of piranhas and alligators though!

Manaus, day 1, we spent doing what apparently is a typical Brazilian activity on a Sunday…we went to the mall! A consumer´s paradise was created by chopping off acres of rainforest. Who needs rainforests when you can have a huge mall where you can shop till you drop, eat as much ice cream as you want and go see a movie when it´s raining outside. It´s really heartbreaking at the rate the rainforests are being cut down…over an acre a day in some places. Anyway, after watching Devil wears Prada, we reached a consensus that we don´t really like this city. Me and Kirsty decided to take a trip to the jungle.

Boarded the boat at 9 am and started our 6 hour boat ride down Rio Negro, so named because of its black color. We reached a point where Rio Negro and Rio SOlemois meet to form the Amazon river. What is really funny about this meeting is that the water from the two rivers doesn´t mix. There´s some difference in density and temperature and such that the two rivers don´t mix. One has completely black water and the other has sandy water and they mix like coffee and cream. It´s the stranest site…you can see miles and miles of the border between the two rivers. I´ll put up some pics when I find a computer with a fucking usb port!

It was a long boat journey…chatted about philosophy and life with some Austrian guy on the boat, played a came of cards with some Spanish speaking people, slept and after 6 hours, finally arrived…literally in the middle of the jungle…at our lodge, aptly named ANACONDA LODGE!!! This lodge is a barge made of wooden planks and a thatch roof floating on water teeming with piranhas, anacondas, alligators, and all sorts of amazing life! Upon arrival, we were greeted with a coke bottle full of snakes that are found in the region. We were told to watch out for the kind in the coke bottle coz they are very poisonous. Nice start to a great adventure. We were promptly served lunch…and ofcourse they were not informed about me being vegetarian. So, I was eating eggs yet again!! After lunch, we headed out in a boat, which closely resembled the boat that we crashed in, to spend our afternoon leisurely fishing for piranhas!!!! For those of you who don´t know what piranhas are…they are the most evil flesh-eating fish with the sharpest teeth you´ve ever seen. If you fall in the water, the school of piranhas attack you and within minutes, there´s nothing left but some bones floating in the water. I was informed of this as we were puttering in our little canoe over to the fishing spot. I was a tad nervous, if you know what I mean! Anyway, as soon as we put the fishing line in the water, I felt the fish nibbling. So, this meant there were a lot of these fish. I did end up catching one piranha (I have a pic to prove it) but other than that I think I mostly just fed them the meat. It was a fun adventure and we made our way back to the lodge as the sun was setting. It´s quite amazing to be in the middle of the jungle with nothing but fresh air to breathe, watching the sunset!

At the lodge, we were served dinner and told that as soon as it was dark we were going out to spot alligators. This sounded a bit crazy to me, but since everyone was going, I didn’t want to be left behind alone at the lodge. So we got into the boat, yet again, and started driving in pitch dark, with nothing but a flashlight to watch for rocks and other boats, to go spot some fucking alligators! We reached the spot where they apparently rest and tuned the motor off. The guide asked us to be completely quiet and started paddling the boat toward the shore. The shore is where the alligators rest!!! I looked in the water and saw millions of little gleaming eyes. I thought they were alligators looking at us but it was actually the reflection of the stars from the sky. I kid you not I have never seen so many stars in the sky. There was, however, no moon. We could have used the moon to see a bit better. But, I think the lightening flashes helped a bit. Yes, to make the already scary moment, a bit more scarier, the sky would light up once in a while….just to remind us that we were in the middle of the RAIN forest. Anyway, alligators, we did spot….a bunch of them with their red eyes gleaming in the dark sitting on the shore. Our guide informed us that the alligators only hunt on land or just above water…so if we get attacked, he said to just dive and they won´t follow! Ruben, our guide, is a crazy crazy man…he got off at the shore to go pick up a little alligator baby that he saw. He brought the specimen to show us while the mom was sitting on the shore watching us! I was happy to leave the area and head back to the lodge. The Austrian guys pulled out some glenfidtich whisky and some cigars to calm our nerves. We sat drinking, and chatting for a couple of hours and called it a nite. In the middle of the nite, we were struck by a huge thunderstorm. I swear to god, I have never seen so many lightning flashes in my life. I put ear plugs in my ears and covered my head with my sheet and prayed that we don´t get hit by lightning.

Next morning, we went for a trek in the Amazon jungle. After the rain, the jungle was alive with the animals singing…the tree frogs croaking, the snakes whistling, the birds chirping. It was wonderful. We saw tarantulas the size of my hands, we saw birds, we saw some cool trees, drank water from this vine that stores fresh water. It was the coolest thing in the whole world to see how the jungle gives you everything you need to survive. It was a quite, beautiful journey back to Manaus. Now, we are leaving on a boat trip down the Amazon for 4 days. We´ll be traveling with the locals who go down the river to take supplies for the little villages along the way. Apparently, it´s a big party coz Brazilians love to dance and sing. Lets see what adventures lie ahead….