Lemme start with a real funny joke Osho told yesterday: One day the pope is doing a crossword puzzle and he comes across a clue that stumps him. He asks his pastor, "do you know a four letter word used to describe a woman that ends in unt?" The pastor says "aunt". And the pope says, "yeah, that's it. can i please have an eraser?" LOL! Every evening we go to the meditation auditorium to listen to osho talks. Every profound message he talks about ends with a joke. He'll be talking about stuff like compassion, forgiveness etc etc and he always has the dirtiest sex joke to drive the point home. His whole idea is not to get too serious coz a lot of meditations tend to make life too serious. So, after every meditation, we have time for celebration. So, every joy, every experience you have felt in the silence of meditation, he asks you to express it in dance. Live life playfully and joyfully. Having said that I have to say that my emails can tend to have a seriousness to them esp. the last one. I wrote that one during one of my meditation highs and reading back today it seems quite hillarious. Very over the top and some could even say a bit conceited. I have to apologize coz that was not my intention at all. It's something that just came out of me spontaneusly. I don't mean to say that I've found the right way and the society is still living in misery. I love all of you guys and that's why I write these emails to share my joy with you. If you've been with me over the past two years of my life, you know I've been on an emotional roller coaster. I've been restless, I've been scared, I've been running around the world looking for happiness. The whole email was just about me. I think the last straw for me was in South America. I really absolutely hit rock bottom there. I'm sure Sponge, Jess, Crazy, Maharani and Brett can really vouch for that. I would wake up every morning and just as I came to consciousness, my tummy would start to knot up in anxiety. What was causing my anxiety? Worrying about the future...what's going to happen with my life? who am i going to marry? what am i going to do as far as work is concerned? why can't i want normal thing? so on and so forth. I was so scared to be alone that even when I got the opportunity to get a room by myself I absolutely refused. So scared I was of my loneliness. Every evening I would look forward to drinking alcohol to settle my anxiety, to not feel the knot in my stomach and the pain in my heart. Every single day I drank so I could go to sleep. I had hit my lowest low. I still had a good time visiting places, seeing new countries, meeting new people but it was at a very superficial level. On the inside I was always restless and the people I was close to could really see that. I am so glad for them and I will cherish their friendship forever. So, now I have come to this place and within a month I have begun to see so much transformation. My body doesn't need alcohol any more, I wake up to the sound of birds chirping with no anxiety, I don't worry about what's the purpose of my life, about whether I'd get married or not. To have such feelings of peace and contentment after such a long time in my life, I sometimes get overwhelmed with gratitude and happiness and then I write my emails to share my joy with the people I love. I believe marriage is a beautiful institution if you are with the right person and someday if I meet a person like that I would love to experience it again. But, it's not a necessity in my life now. I am not worried about it (like my parents are)! So, please I want you to not misinterpret my words and just see it for what they are....just an expresssion of my joy! Today was the first day of what Osho calls "the meditation that's going to revolutionize the world of meditation". It's called mystic rose and it's 3 weeks long. First week involves laughing 3 hours a day for a week, then 3 hours a day of crying for a week, followed by 3 hours of silent meditation a day for a week. Everyone I know who's done this meditation is completely transformed. They say it cleans out the emotional garbage that we've been carrying for many many lives. After the detoxification, we can go really deep in silence. SO, today was the first day and I laughed for 3 hours. What a great meditation...grown people acting like little kids. We laughed and laughed and laughed until our tummy's hurt and there were tears in our eyes. I can still feel it bubbling inside me. I have to thank my lovely friends for giving me food for laughter. Picturing Spongy doing her sponge bob dancing on the booze cruise, crazy baring her ass and being rescued by the cute boy on the boat, maharani saying "bicks baporub", our lovely "ode to jose" that me and sponge wrote, jessica dancing to grease lightning in cusco, jess and sponge falling on the dance floor, ashley's joke about bees being like suicide bombers, or the one about pope wearing prada. Lol! I'm so lucky to have such amazing memories to bring laughter in my life. I would love it if I could get more material in this week. Jokes, funnies, anything is welcome. I'll send my laughing energy your way if you send me some material. Don't worry, I won't be writing another email during my crying week. LOL! Anyway, I just want you all to know how much I love you and even though I don't get responses from all of you, I know you are happy for me. You've all been there for me during my sad days and I want you to share in my joy as well. Lots of love, hugs, kisses and laughter, Ritika Ria. PS: Ritika Ria is my new name which means flowing laughter. They say your name can manifest itself in your personality if you meditate on it. I want nothing more but to laugh away the rest of my life. No more tears .....please!