I am still flying high and loving every minute of what I now know life is all about. Finally, I am totally and utterly free. I am soooooo lucky, so blessed that God gave me so much. I think every good deed that I’ve ever done in my life has paid off for now I have found this beautiful place. To have financial freedom, to have freedom from society, from work and finally to have freedom from the fear of loneliness. This is the best space I’ve ever been in my entire life. I have so much trust in existence now that I am just going with the flow and I know, without a doubt, that wherever I end up is going to be beautiful. Sorry mom for asking you to back off a little bit. I don’t want a safety net. Until there’s fear in me, I won’t venture out and will never know how high I can fly. I want to be absolutely free to continue this amazing journey, without any restrictions, without any limitations, without any demands.

These days my daily routine consists of about 6 hours of meditation, couple of hours of napping, swimming and then dancing the nights away. I’ve realized that total freedom is to be free of every kind of societal conditioning. Some may call it brain washing and I have to agree. My brain is being washed of all the shit that has been fed to me in the last 30 odd years of my life. Get an education, make money, get married, have kids, blah blah blah! I have allowed myself to fear so much esp. fear ending up alone…a fear that was fed to me by society, by my parents. Out of that fear I married Rick, out of that fear I went out with Ashley, out of that fear I held back. But something deep inside me was always yelling out to break free of that fear. Hence, even though things with Ashley were going beautifully, and even though he was offering me the world at the time, I couldn’t take it. I knew I had to try and figure out the cause of this restlessness. Now, with these meditations, a lot of stuff is coming up. All the mud that had settled to the bottom is getting stirred up. Some days my head is so muddled that I can’t think clearly. But slowly and surely, transformation is beginning. I am realizing so many things…for one how big and how fragile our ego is. It’s so easy for someone to come and tell me how beautiful I am, how I have a beautiful aura about me….it takes so little to stroke my ego. To make me have this lovely opinion of myself and go about my day thinking I am beautiful! At the same time, someone can come and say something not very nice, or not treat me well and my bubble bursts instantly. That’s how we live our lives just a slave to our reactions. Opinions of others is what constitutes our personality. Obviously I enjoy the attention I am getting…and I seem to be getting a lot! It’s all fun but I am not letting it go to my head. I am learning to understand myself, to love myself, to nourish myself.

I’ve been going out with this English guy, Anthony. The same guy I met at the hotel when I first arrived to Pune. He's been living in Pune for almost a year, working for some multinational company. He’d been gone to London for a couple of weeks and asked me out for dinner when he got back. He's been treating me really well, five star living! He's cute, he's funny, and he's rich, he's humble and over all a real gem of a human being. He's as “normal” as you can get according to societal standards. He even said the typical “I’m not a spiritual kind of a guy” bullshit when I first met him. So we first went out for dinner and he told me I’d changed…that I was buzzing with energy and giddy with laughter. He had to have a couple of drinks, he said, to get to my “happy” level! Since then we’ve been out a few times and he even asked me the other night to give him an osho talk cd. LOL! I haven’t tried to “convert” him at all. It’s all because he sees that I am so intensely happy all the time and he wants to know why and how. I know one hour of listening to Osho is going to ignite a thirst in him. Watch out Anthony….

I haven’t watched tv since I got here, no movies, nothing to occupy my mind. The other day Osho was talking about the difference between lonliness and aloneness. What he said about loneliness really resonated with me. He said that loneliness is the most painful emotion a person can feel so he tries to run from it. He makes lots of friends, he goes out drinking, watches tv, joins clubs, drowns his loneliness in music, surfs the net…etc.etc.etc. But he never ever just does nothing. Coz when he’s doing nothing is when he realizes that he doesn’t really know who he is. And that scares him so he runs out again. That’s what I did all my life…so scared I was of being alone. Everywhere I went I made lots of friends, partied lots, went out all the time, drank, smoked weed...anything to run from lonliness. And Osho put it so beautifully…he said that we don’t realize that we don’t need to run anywhere. All we need to do is to close our eyes and go in and then the darkness is over. Aloneness, he said, is the peak of human existence. I enjoy being alone now, just watching the birds, feeling the breeze on my skin, watching my thoughts. It’s beautiful! After my morning “no-mind” meditation, I get so silent inside that I can go to a rock concert and be alone. Nothing can penetrate that blissful silence. There is so much energy inside me these days that I sometimes feel nauseous. My head spins with this energy that is rising inside me and it’s visible. People keep telling me how my skin has become radiant and how it glows. I’ve completely stopped wearing makeup. It doesn’t really go with my maroon robe…lol. All this meditation makes me less hungry and my weight has started to drop. I have never felt more healthy, more happy, more beautiful in my life.

I’m limited by language to express what I am feeling right now. How do you explain the feeling of an orgasm to a person who has never had one? Words aren’t enough! I just want you guys to know that I consider myself to be utterly blessed to have found this beautiful place. I will venture out of here soon…go to north India for the summer months. Dharamsala, land of Dalai Lama, Nepal, then Italy, Greece, maybe Canada sometime in July and then off to Bosnia and Iran. I’ll be visiting a lot of osho centers and other spiritual places. What a way to combine my love for traveling with my love for my inner journey. Life has a beautiful purpose now and I’m flying high.

I finally found my G-spot!

Lol! Yes, once you find your G-spot, you cannot stop the convulsions that spread all over your body. No, I am not talking about my sexual G-spot. Osho calls your G-spot your Giggling Spot. I swear when that gets activated, you just giggle until you have tears in your eyes and your body just goes into convulsions. What can I say about this place. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the happiness that bubbles through me that I can’t help the tears from pouring down my face. I know it sounds dramatic…but that’s me…and I accept it. I am a drama queen…I go into every emotion completely. Why not? Isn’t that how we are born? A child cries completely when he’s hurt, giggles with his whole body when he’s happy, and it doesn’t take much to stimulate his G-spot. But then the society conditioning comes in as we grow older. Boys don’t cry, girls are too emotional, and so and so forth. We go on suppressing our emotions, go on killing ourselves slowly a day at a time. I know I suppressed a lot of my anger and hurt in the seven years with Rick. Every time he hurt me, he rejected me, he insulted me, I just told myself that it didn’t matter. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing that he hurt me. Over the past two years I thought I had dealt with the anger I felt towards him. But…my god, was I ever wrong. I went for a breathing session day before yesterday. I went in with my societal conditioning of “this is all mumbo jumbo” but I still wanted to give it a try. She made me lie down and told me to take deep breaths. I swear not even 5 breaths in and I could find myself welling up. And the tears turned into sobs, and then before I knew it I was crying like I have never cried before. There was so much pain, I was crying over things that I didn’t even know I had any pain associated with. Things like my abortion 3 years ago. I thought it wasn’t a big deal. I always wondered why women made such a big deal about it. But then I guess I just hadn’t let it register in my consciousness. Ever since I literally cried my heart out, I have not been the same. It’s like I’m high on drugs. Sometimes I get so happy about something trivial and I just find myself dancing. It’s hard to walk coz I just want to skip. I am beginning to know what “real” laughter is, what “real” dancing is…dancing, where you dance like no one is watching you. Where you feel the music in your soul and where you don’t need alcohol to start moving. In fact, my body doesn’t want alcohol any longer. After you experience dancing without alcohol, you never want alcohol to wreck that experience.

Let me tell you about the parties….dj’s from new york, parties like goa except these are without drugs. You can go up to anyone and start dancing. Last nite we had a variety show and it was amazing. People here are so talented…I guess when your heart is open, when you are above self-consciousness, then your talent can really shine. And they are soooooo politically incorrect…I love it. And there is no need to hide it…they just say it out loud. Like kids…no inhibitions. That’s what I’ve come up with. This place is a university where you go to learn how to become kids again. Kindergarten university! That’s my new name for maroon world. I met a really lovely 40 y.o. kid here who made me laugh so much. I think I might be in love with him. But I think I am in love with everyone here. There is a guy, a rock star from Belaruse, who is a singer, a musician, a poet, songwriter….and absolutely gorgeous. He sang a song yesterday that he had written for his brother who passed away. I was really moved and went to tell him and he gave me a big hug. I think I love him too. I love this gorgeous Iranian girl who I met at the bookshop. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys…I am employed now. Finally, I’m part of the work force. I got a job at the bookshop….heaven, I’m in heaven! I meet some real interesting people all day, listen to lovely music, read beautiful books. Couldn’t have asked for a better job. I go for morning meditation from 6-7, work from 9 to 4, then evening meditation from 7 to 8:30 and after that …Party! That’s my life for now seven days a week. No weekends off. So far I love it…lets see what happens later. I am just going with the flow.

Meditation is the key to happiness and an end to misery that we create in our lives. Meditation doesn’t have to be a serious thing…it can be a celebration. For us 21st century people, it’s really hard to sit down silently and meditate. Hence, Osho created dancing meditations, whirling meditation, where you whirl like a kid in a playground. After 45 mins of whirling when you sit down to meditate, you are absolutely silent. It’s blissfull! And this is just the beginning for me. I am ecstatic. Life has purpose now and I am excited to be on this journey.

Ahhh.....the world of Maroon!!!!

So, i've arrived in the land of maroon. The first day in Pune I had to stay in a hotel, so I treated myself to 5 star! Love 5 star after 4 long months of hostels...some too shity to even get one star (I feel your pain Brett). So at this lovely 5 star hotel, I met a man within the first hour of being there. Nice English dude living and working in Pune. We decided to go out dancing and had a ball. He was quite a funny guy and had me laughing the whole night. I even had him unbutton the top 2 buttons on his shirt to look like the other indian men there and to copy their dance moves to the bollywood music. I didn't have to ask him twice. LOL! He was funny but he's gone to London for a couple of weeks but man, he's been texting me 4 times a day. He asked me on a date from London...pasta and wine...I think he likes me...LOL! Me, on the other hand....too busy to like a man right now. I had a great time with him but right now is absolutely "me" time.

So, I arrived at the ashram the next day and got assigned a room, which by the way is quiet nice...a/c and my own bathroom. The ashram has an ambience like I've never seen before. Majority of people here are in their late 20's to late 30's. People from all over the world...syria, macedonia, russia, egypt, africa...u name it, they are here! People who are tired of the shit that the religions, the politicians, the society doles out throughout our lives. People who are questioning the restrictions imposed on us since the day we are born. People who want to find the real happiness. The meditations here are so fun. I didn't think meditating could be fun...every time I've ever tried meditating, I've failed sorely. But here, meditations are celebrations. Dancing meditations...where you are encouraged to completely let go and becoming dancing. Cathartic meditations...where you are allowed to scream, laugh, cry, whatever emotion you've suppressed, as loud as possible. Medititations, that are so physically demanding, that my whole body is sore from it. But, the silence that descends upon you after these meditations...is so blissfull! The early morning meditation starts at 6 am. I attended it today and it was extremely powerful. I danced, I cried, I screamed and after that when I came out of the auditorium, it was so peaceful. There is a huge pond outside the auditorium and there are trees everywhere. The whole environment was resounding with the chirping of birds. There was no desire to talk to anyone, or to look at anyone, just be at peace in the moment.

Maroon robes are beautiful...i got one with spaghetti straps and it can be laced in the back to make it more fitted. It actually looks quite nice. Robes are only required from 9 to 4. In the evening there are beautiful parties. You meet people from all over the world...there's a bar where they sell alochol. You can dance, you drink, you can be free. This place is as far from a cult as possible. A cult teaches you to conform to rules. Here they teach you to break them. A cult teaches you to lose your identity, be uniform, brainwashes you. Here they teach you to lose your mind and express your individuality. I love it...finally surrounded with people who think like me. I don't feel so restless anymore. I don't need to be with people anymore and it's only been 3 days. But, it is hard to be alone. I've had more men approach me here than anywhere else in the world. They are beautiful men, inside and out. The potential is immense...but unfortunately the desire is not there right now. But I know I am in the right place to find the kind of man I would like to be with. A kind of man who doesn't suppress his pain by listening to comedy, a kind of man who is able to juggle his career with his love life, a kind of man who is not jealous or possessive, who can let me be who I am, let me be a woman without judgement, trusting in my love for him. I thank all the men in life up until now for bringing me to such clarity about what I want in a man. No regrets, no more pain....how could there be pain if it led me to this place? I won't be writing my blog too regularly now. I am on this journey and it is very personal. I don't know if I want to share all my experiences. But rest assured that I am happy, I am excited, I am energetic, I am ecstatic! Love you all !!!

One more sleep...

How long have I waited to go to Osho now? I think it's been atleast 2 years. Finally, set out tomorrow morning....early at 6 am. Train to Delhi and then flight to Pune and a rickshaw to the ashram. To the land of maroon! Apparently you can only wear the color maroon while you are on campus...even your bathing suit and work out clothes have to be maroon. Sounds a bit gay...but whatever I can go past the color. I know a lot of people have their reservations about Osho and call it a cult. Some people say it's a place where hippies go to do drugs and have lots of orgies. I've done enough research and so far I've found that there are two good things said for every bad thing. In the end, I have to experience it to really say what it's all about and what this experience does for me. But, for everyone who's worried that I'm gonna get caught up in a cult, all I wanna say is give me some credit. You get the experience you want from a situation. Backpacking can also be a culture of sex and booze and drugs. I did that and survived without any diseases....I guess we'll know after my AIDS test at the ashram...LOL! Yes, for the people who don't know...in order to get accepted in the ashram, everyone has to be tested for AIDS and other STD's!

Oh, by the way, finally got to see Borat, the movie yesterday. Thank God for pirated videos! Laughed so hard my tummy hurt....well worth the wait! My fav was running of the jews! OMG, no wonder he's on the hitlist of so many people.

I will try and keep up my blog updated from the ashram. I know a lot of people wanna know about the orgies there (don't worry John, I won't disappoint you). Love the personal emails from you guys. Brett, you are an inspiration as usual. Spongy, miss you so much. If your rucksack fails to fit, you know I'd love to have you in India anytime. Crazy....can't wait to see you in London. Love our chats and esp love your comments on my blog. Maharani, what can I say...you are such a riot. I miss hearing your "boice" and your hammock stories.

Photo: Spongy, Crazy, Laura, Larissa...I know I've been trying to entice you into coming to visit me in India. Here's yet another reason! I think all four of you are very well qualified for the job posting :)

Still in shock....

Spent the entire day yesterday walking around like a zombie. A day full of tears, restlessness, pain, anxiety and fear! Everytime I close my eyes I see Karam's face! A question that begs to be answered is what is this life for? We live our lives planning so many things, collecting material goods, forming relationships, getting married, having kids and then we all die. We all die!!! Everything we plan is so useless coz what destiny has planned for us, we cannot change. Karam went out to celebrate his friend's new job and

ended up with his skull crushed. He had so many plans for his life...he didn't know that his life was gonna come to screeching halt (pun intended) at 25! So, it really makes me think why we take our lives so seriously. The only fact, the only undeniable fact, is that we are all gonna die. So, why why why do we live our lives not making the most of it every day? Why do we not just go around laughing, playing, enjoying every minute of every day? Why do we harbour bad feelings towards each other? Life is such a drama...a drama where we are actors playing in it but we don't have the script. Why don't we just play our part and not get involved in it?

The last two years have been quite tough for me. I've learned some important life lessons that have helped me with my personal growth. It has been a painful growth but I've realized that the more you go past pain, the more it goes from coal to diamond. I've become a totally different person than I was 2 years ago. Rubal's death triggered the change, Rick's leaving was a catalyst and the change happened very rapidly. Ashley came into my life, offering me the world. The timing was all wrong and my heart was broken. I just couldn't trust...so I lost him as well. They say that things happen in threes. I've lost three people I loved in 2 years. One died, one left coz he needed to explore his options, and the third, well...the third left without saying a word! I've learned to live without people I have loved and am still learning. I've realized that there's no wound that time won't heal. That too is an undeniable fact of life...time heals everything.

Photo: Happier times :)

The phone call...

How many more times would I have to receive a phone call like this in my life...I wonder.

I went to Ludhiana the other day to hang out with my friends Gini and Vineet and a couple of other friends, Loveleen and Karam, visiting from Vancouver. We all decided to meet up in Ludhiana, a city half way between where I live and where Loveleen and Karam were staying. It was so lovely to meet them. We sat at Vineet's house drinking wine while Karam had us cracking up with his jokes. After that we went off to a local pub where this gora started talking to me. He was from the States and was working in Ludhiana for 3 months. He was a total metal guy and infact reminded me of another metal guy I used to know back in Vancouver. I tried to talk to him about music...esp metal and rock, stuff that Ash had introduced me to. It was hillarious how I was talking to him about soundgarden, tool, metallica. I think I really did impress him. LOL! What was even funnier was the waiters in the bar. They kept coming up to me telling me not to talk to that guy coz he wasnt a nice guy. LOL! It was hillarious...my cousin Ankush, and Vineet and Karam all seemed to wanna protect me from this guy. It was a real fun night...laughed so much that my tummy hurt.

That was day before yesterday. This morning, I got a phone call from Vineet informing me that Karam had met with an accident and died! Yes, he is gone...dead! I cannot get my head around it. It's impossible! I still have his pics on my camera...I still remember him telling me we are gonna party in Delhi on Friday. He was only 25! Everything he said that night is echoing in my head. I keep playing it in my head over and over again. It all seems so surreal! 4 guys out for a drive and 3 of them died and one is critical in the hospital. What a waste! At times like these, I find myself asking what is this life for? There are so many joys but every joy seems to come with a great sorrow hiding inside it. I am so tired of saying goodbye. It hurts so bad that I find myself thinking I dont want anyone to come close to me. The more people I have close to me, the more people I'll have to say goodbye to. Since being in Jalandhar, I've really been missing Rubal. Everywhere I go, I am reminded of him. He died almost 2 years ago and every time I come to Jalandhar, it seems like it was just yesterday when we was sitting next to me with his gorgeous smile. At times like this, I wish I would die soon so I dont have to say any more goodbyes.

Karam, I know you said you will never get serious in life and now you dont ever have to. Thanks for the lovely times we shared in Vancouver, and in India. Hope you have lots of biryani and coke in heaven. I love you and miss you.

Peace....has always seemed fleeting, short lived, something I've chased after, something I've yearned...an enigma. Now, this picture speaks to me of peace. Looking at the face of a sleeping baby is pure peace. It is mesmerizing, the look on a baby's face when they are sleeping and the emotion it evokes in your heart. Nothing compares to it.

Had another lovely day with the fam! Spent the entire day lazing around on the verandah soaking up the sun. India is a very funny country...all morning the street vendors go up and down the street selling their wares. Anything from eggs and bread in the morning, to vegetables, to clothes, to spices, to junk food, to books, anything you can think of ....you literally get it at your doorstep. You can never ever get bored in this country.

Off to Ludhiana again this evening to spend time with Gini pig and some other friends from Vancouver who are visiting India right now. Should be a fun time...go to the "gora" bar and see if we can have a chance to go dancing "bollywood" style.

Spent the entire first day in bed…eating, talking, reading, sleeping, just chillin’!!! Next day, it was off to Ludhiana, a city about 1 hour away to see my friend Ginni pig and Vineet. It was so nice to spend the day with them, catching up on old times. After Vineet left us to go play badminton, me and Ginni went to the spa to get some pampering. After an hour long facial, my grandma can proudly say I am presentable again! LOL! In the evening, we went out to the local bar, which by the way was full of goras (white people). I guess it’s the gora season in India…for business and pleasure. It was a lot of fun..had some drinks then spent hours just hanging out at the bar.

Next day, I spent a long time chatting with the girls, just shooting the shit. If there are any pregnant women out there who want a boy, I’ve learned a few tricks. If you have sex only on the odd days, apparently your x hormone is deficient and you end up getting a y…hence a boy! Or, after sex spend the next fifteen minutes staring at your husbands penis and you are surely going to have a boy! And other such lovely tricks. Lemme know if you need a fix for anything and I am sure I will be able to scrounge some remedy for it from India ;) Speaking of remedies, my mom and my aunt dragged me to see a pundit (a guy who is a spiritual leader/psychic/fortune teller). Apparently I am going through a very rough phase in my life right now where I don’t know what I am going to do with my life, and I am just drifting and seeking. This phase is going to end in Apr. After August a new phase is going to begin, where I am going to meet a lovely man and get married and my career (something in management) is going to take off. Then by the year after that I am going to have a kid. Hmm….all sounds really good especially coz now my mom and my grandma and the rest of my family is off my case to get married. I have to say though that the dude was dead on about my past. Said some pretty accurate things about my past life, and even present. So, if what he said is gonna come true, I am supposed to lead a very charmed life. Keeping my fingers crossed!

CAIO SUD AMERICA, NAMASTE INDIA !!!!

So, after a long 17 hours in transit for a flight that should have taken me from Quito to Caracas in 3 hours, I arrived in Caracas at 11:00 pm. Got to my hotel, which was pure luxury compared to some of the shit holes we stayed in. This was to be my last nite in South America. I left the MTV channel on all nite so I could absorb every bit of Spanish music while I was there. On the flight from Panama city to Caracas, I met this lovely man who invited me to stay with him and his wife instead of going to the hotel. He said if I ever came to Caracas again, I was to think of his home as my own! Loved the people in this beautiful continent…always ready with a smile, and a Buenos dias, and a como estas. Then, from Caracas to Frankfurt, a 9 hour flight, I sat next to a German man, who didn’t even say hi to me the entire time. Had 5 hours to kill in Frankfurt so I decided to go out for a little bit of a walk to get some air. I walked out of the airport, and literally turned around and walked back in! I had forgotten what cold feels like. OMG!!! I don’t think my body is capable of dealing with low temperatures any longer.

After a mai tai and a caipirinhia in the lounge, I stumbled over to the boarding gate to make my way to New Delhi. This time again, I sat with a lady who didn’t even say hi. FINE BY ME!!! Arrived in India and my first interaction with an Indian was with the immigration officer. He looked at my passport, and then looked at me a few times. Then asked me what I did for a living. I told him I was a pharmacist which obviously led him to ask me how much I made every month. I was a bit shocked about the personal question and then I remembered I am in India. There is nothing personal here. So, the next question was if I was married…and I told him..been there done that. He was genuinely concerned and asked me why it didn’t work out and if I had married a foreigner! Before I left the counter, he told me that I was lovely and would have no problem finding a man. Phew! Thank God, now I can go on with my life! LOL! Ahh....third world!!! People are so much warmer, friendlier, more interesting and absolutely CRAZY!

My cousin had come to receive me at the airport and I kept him awake until 4 am talking. Thanks to jet lag! After spending the day in Delhi, shopping for clothes that would not give my grandma a heartattack…”decent clothes” they call them here. Means anything that is unflattering, shapeless, non cleavage revealing and I don’t have anything like that in my backpack! Finally after a 5 hour train journey, we arrived in Jalandhar, my hometown, and there were about 20 people to see me. Everyone’s reaction…OMG, what happened to you? You are so dark, so skinny! My grandma literally had tears in her eyes from pity for me. “Oh my poor daughter”, she said, “You’ve been drifting around the world, with nothing to eat, carrying such a heavy back pack.” Not to worry though, coz she’s told me once I drink milk and eat yogurt, I will lose my tan and get my color back. Such drama queens! It’s absolutely hilarious. So, we all sat in my granny’s room and ofcourse within 15 minutes we were talking about finding me a man. Everyone had their two cents to put in…so far, they are going to put an ad in the newspaper in the matrimonial section to find me a man, spread the word to all the relatives that I am single, get me back to a fair and lovely color. All this in one night. I knew there was a reason why I loved my family so much. Can you imagine me having an arranged marriage? That in itself is a joke! I love them so much. My friends have all been calling and coming over to visit. I am only here for 10 days and so they want to make the best use of me…i.e. party! I am an excuse for everyone to get together and go dancing coz they know I love to party. LOL! I am all partied out at the moment and just need some time to detoxify and recuperate before I go to Osho ashram. Heard there’s a party there every evening. Anyway, I can ramble on…so off I go for now!

Restless in Quito

God, what a day I´ve had! Last nite at about 7 pm, I decided to print out my eticket for my flight today. As I held it in my hand, I read and reread to make sure what my eyes were seeing was true. The fucking ticket was from Lima to Caracas instead of Quito to Caracas. I couldn´t believe my stupid travel agent made such a huge mistake. Last minute I was frantically searching for a ticket on the internet and finally got one for this morning, leaving Quito at 7:40am. Arrived at the airport promptly at 5:40 am exactly 2 hours before the flight. To my surprise, the ticket agent upgraded me to first class and that meant I had access to the lounge. I thought to myself, hey all´s well that ends well! But that was not to be! When I went to the check in gate at boarding time, I was informed that the airport was shut down due to bad weather. All the flights were delayed and apparently mine was cancelled. So, now we had to make our way back to the check in counter and try and get on a different flight. My problem is that I have to get to Caracas tonight in order to make the connection for India and that is tomorrow evening. I begged and pleaded with the ticket agent and he booked me on a flight leaving at 3:30pm and arriving Caracas at 10:30pm. I even had the balls to ask him to upgrade me to first class if possible. I thought since I have nowhere else to go in Quito, I´d just stay at the airport and enjoy the lounge. But alas, first class was full!!! However, I decided to give my luck a try and just walked back to the lounge. The girls at the counter recognized me and I smiled at them and said "I´m back"!! They smiled back and forgot to check my boarding pass. So, I sit here now in the first class lounge writing my blog :) Not bad, eh? But still, I am bored out of my tree! 3 more hours to go. I guess I´ll go and find something to eat and maybe some vino to sip!

Galapagoz or Paradise????

If I`ve ever made a decision that I have been so happy about it would have to be to change my plans and go to Galapagoz. I knew it would be a great ending to my trip but I was not prepared for what Galapagoz had in store for me. How does one comprehend something so beautiful, so perfect, so ideal?!? Galapagoz is what mother nature intended our planet to be like...air so clean that you can feel your lungs thanking you, water so clear that you can see to the bottom of the sea from your boat, animals so tame that they come within inches of you without any fear, skies so clear that you can see all the stars in the milky way! Wow, there is definitely no place like Galapagoz on this planet and I am so grateful that I got the opportunity to explore it, experience it!

So, we arrived on the gorgeous island of Baltra after a 2 hour flight. Took a dingy to our boat, our home for the next 8 days. Met the crew, the guide and the rest of the group. Our daily schedule included waking up at 6 am and going for our first exploration of the day. Mostly it was a wet landing, which meant jumping off the dingy while the waves crashed on you so you got soaking wet. Then our lovely guide, Edwin, would take us around the island pointing out all the animals and birds along the way. It`s unbelievable how tame the animals are in Galapagoz. If you are swimming, they`ll come right up to you and swim right next to you. I saw lots of sea lions, iguanas, turtles and loads of birds. My favourite birds were the boobies. Yes, that`s the name...blue footed boobies. I bought a t-shirt that says I love boobies!! There are a lot of species of animals and birds that are only found in Galapagoz and nowhere else on the planet. After the walk the first day, we had a chance to go snorkeling. I had never snorkelled before so I decided to give it a try but wanted to stay right by the shore. Edwin urged me to come along with him and promised he would hold my hand through the whole thing. So, I agreed and let him lead me into the water. The first time I put my face in the water, I was awestruck! I had never seen anything like this before. I`ve swum in the ocean many times but just stayed on the surface not even thinking about what`s underneath the surface. It was like a whole different world down there. I felt like I was flying and watching thousands of fish swimming around me. It was amazing! I saw sea turtles casually flapping, rolling about me. I was really starting to enjoy it and then Edwin pointed at something and when I looked I was startled to see a shark! My first instinct was to take my face out of the water and not look at it. I mean, it was a fucking shark and it was swimming merely a few feet away from me. Granted it was a small (about 2 ft long) reef shark but still!! But I stayed put but held on to Edwin`s hand real tight. As we were coming out of the water, right along the shore, we spotted a sting ray. I swam right on top of it, thinking the whole time about Steve Irwin!! I was in seventh heaven, so pleased that I had been exposed to a whole new world and couldnt wait to go snorkelling again. In the afternoon, after lunch, we got free time or siesta time. We sat on the deck, reading, drinking beer, just watching our surroundings. In the evenings we had another exploration. Walked around and got educated on more birds and animals. In the evenings, we sat at the deck, drinking wine, socializing, dancing. After dinner it would be time to sit on the deck chairs and watch the stars. I swear you have never seen so many stars in your life. Not only because there are absolutely no lights for miles and miles, but also we were right at the equator. That meant that we could see the constellations of both the northern and the southern hemisphere. We`d just lay there quietly and stare at the stars, with the lovely breeze, sound of fish jumping around in the water, sea lions splashing about. I have never in my life felt so much at peace. There are very few times in your life when you are in the moment and you know there isn`t another place you`d rather be. I felt like that the entire time I was in Galapagoz.

The biggest excitement of the whole trip was the day we were to go snorkelling around Devil`s crown. Apparently, it`s the best place to spot hammerhead sharks. Hammerheads are known to be around 9 to 10 meters long i.e. around 10 to 15 ft!! And this time it was going to be deep sea snorkelling, which meant we had to jump out of the dingy instead of swimming in from the shore. So, we took the dingy to the spot where we were supposed to jump in the water. It was quite choppy and our guide said to us that it would be advisable to jump in that spot only if you were a strong swimmer and comfortable snorkelling. I was quite nervous and looking for an excuse not to jump in the water that most likely had schools of sharks in it. One of the guys on our trip was a real shark enthusiast and we`d nicknamed him shark boy. He was the first one to jump in. He came up from the water and told me to jump in coz he said I was in for a treat. He promised me he wouldnt leave my side the whole time. Now, I`ve noticed that when I am faced with a situation where I am really scared, my mind just goes numb. It`s like my body just takes over and I have no control. That`s what happened. I put on my mask and just jumped into deep sea which was likely full of sharks! WOW! I still can`t get over it. I was capable of doing that!?!?! And what a treat it was. I could see right to the bottom of the sea...about 30 meters down. And there they were...sharks...about 10 or 15 Galapagoz sharks all about 9 to 10 ft long. I saw them and I wasn`t scared. I just watched them, fascinated at the grace with which they swim, fascinated at the knowledge that I was in the water with these gorgeous creatures. I have never seen so many fish in my life. All colors, thousands and thousands of them. We, however, didnt see any hammerheads, which was a bit of a disappointment, but a part of me was also a bit relieved.

Now lemme tell you about life on the boat. On the first day, during lunch we were served juice that no one could figure out what it was. I said it was probably guava juice. That reminded me how much I missed being called guava. No one had called me Ria in a long time. I told some people at my table how my group had nicknamed me guava and they really thought it was quite a good name for me. And so it began....i was being called guava again. The crew on board loved me. They waited on me hand and foot. It was great! I was the only vegetarian and man did the cook look after me. He would make these lovely concoctions and present it so beautifully for me. And then bring it to me personally. It was quite funny really. The crew, all latino men, started calling me guavita, which means little guava. It was so cute! The only other time I`ve been treated so well was in Goa when Ash and me stayed in Palolem. My cabin was cleaned twice a day, and they left little treats for me. Then Louis, our first mate, started calling me morenita, which means a little brown girl. This got changed to negrita i.e. little black girl as I progressively got darker and darker. The first time I saw a shark in the water, I panicked a bit and wanted to get out of the water and into the dingy. Louis was driving the dingy at the time and since that day he started making fun of me, telling everyone how I panicked! And one day, as he was yet again laughing at me, I told him that I`d never seen him swimming with sharks and then I went on to make the biggest mistake of my life. I called him a chicken!!! Calling a latino man chicken is apparently a big deal! It was on now! He told me that he was gonna get me when I least expected it. So, on the last nite, we were having a party on the deck. Everyone was drinking, and dancing. Then the captain and Louise came up to me and picked me up. They started carrying me down the stairs to the bottom of the boat. I knew then they were gonna throw me into the water. I started screaming, really kicking up a storm. So the captain backed off and lemme go. But Louise, put me on his shoulder and carried me down and jumped into the water with me!!! It was hillarious! I came out of the water, everyone was laughing. So, I told him that he was still a chicken. Well, I guess I asked for it coz before I knew it, I was being thrown in the water again. LOL!!

It was really hard saying goodbye to everyone. But here I am again, in Quito. My last nite here. Tomorrow I fly to Crackass...I mean Caracas, Venezuela. From Caracas I will fly to India. Can`t believe it`s all come to an end. Loved every minute of it but man I cant wait to be in India now. I cant wait to go.

ALL BY MYSELF!!!! I cant believe I just said goodbye to everyone and I am literally left by myself in Lima, Peru. I said goodbye to Sponge Bob....but she`s been with me for almost 3 months now. I cant imagine her not being there, picking on me, making fun of me, being cross with me, laughing at me, laughing with me, being her spongy self. Wow, I cant believe it all went down without too many tears. I think it might be the wine helping me through this nite and tomorrow I board the plane to Quito very early in the morning. So, its really a matter of one nite that I am ALL BY MYSELF!!!

Riaisms???...yes, i guess that`s what they are calling it! WOrds in hindi like Hai Ram, Aye hai, oh ho, na kar yaar, kuchu, chalo, so rude, and a few more! I cant believe the goras (whities) are using them, especially the two that I hang out with the most...Helga (Jess) and Sponge Bob (jen)! THe funniest was on the Inca trail when Helga slipped and fell and yelled out Hai Ram! It was so funny. It`s become part of their language. Hai Ram just means Oh God but I like it how they are making it a part of their vocab. And I think I have interested quite a few on my group to come visit me in India, esp Spongy. It would be nice to show her the country, take her to Goa, Bombay, maybe even to Jalandhar for my cousin`s wedding. Lets see how it pans out. But for now the big rendezvous is in September...Me, Sponge, Crazy and Kirsty (the girl I travelled from Caracas to Rio with). We shall be descending on the city of London and painting it red, green, and all the colors of the rainbow :) I can`t wait to see Crazy and Kirsty. I also wanna go see their hometowns, so I will be going to Exeter and Sheffield to see where these crazies come from.

Yesterday, we went to see the Nasca Lines. WOw! Took a little 5 seater cessna plane to fly over them. Nasca Lines are pics drawn in the sand dating back to 400 BC. Pics of animals like monkeys, spiders, humming birds etc, too big to appreciate from the ground. That is what makes them so amazing because they didnt have planes back in 400 BC, so why did they draw these pics? Oh, the mystery! Love it...the whole thing is so bizzare! Off to Pisco today, where we might go sandboarding and dune buggying again. Or might just decide to chill by the pool. We are finally at sea level again so now we are in the middle of Peruvian summer. Last nite was beautiful. We stayed at our gorgeous hotel...sat outside on the verandah with the cool breeze blowing, drinking some vino blanco, chatting with the buddies....oh, good times!

I cant believe the time is almost here to say goodbye though. Only 3 more days...hai ram! THen, I am on my own for a few days until i meet the rest of the group going to Galapagoz. There will be 16 of us and 8 staff on a 65 ft yacht for 9 days. Close quarters...I think they might be! Hopefully, it will be a fun group...cute guys will be a bonus ;)

Peru...I feel it´s spirit! I dont know why but Peru has really got under my skin. I enjoy everything about it...the chaotic traffic in the city, the coco leaf chewing people on the street with their green tinted teeth smiling at you, the majestic mountains, the spirituality! I love this country and am feeling it in my blood that I am going to come back for a visit very soon. I would´ve liked to stay and go into the jungle for a few weeks. Maybe try a bit of Ayahuasca. For those of you who dont know what Ayahuasca is, its supposed to be a hallucinogenic plant that is given by shamans to people who like to delve deep into their psyche. I have discovered the term ¨psychonaut¨and I think its quite apt. I had been thinking about doing this since I first heard about it in Vancouver. But since my arrival to South America, I had been thinking about it non stop until I met Brett. Brett, being the wise man that he is, told me a bit more about the ¨drug¨! Seems like it strips away layers of your ego and you come eye to eye with the real you, along with all the fears you might hold. I decided to hold off for the time being coz I dont know what I might find. But then in Peru, my tour leader, Geraldine, told me about the time she did it and how amazing it was for her and how it totally helped her get all the answers she was looking for. She also gave me a wonderful book on it that I devoured in one sitting. I loved everything about it...the fact that you do it in the jungle, in a natural environment, with real ayahuscerios! I almost decide to go do it but Sponge bob made me change my mind. I agree with her that I should go with someone I know..in case I trip out real bad. At the moment, meditation is calling me, Osho is speaking out to me and I am really excited about it. But I think, I will come back to Peru very soon. I would like to do two things when I come back. One is to go on the Inca trail with someone I love. I think its absolutely the most romantic, the most spiritual thing a couple can do together. And, secondly, I would like to go to the jungle and do drugs with this person.

Only 4 more days till this part of my tour ends. I fly out of Lima to Quito on Jan 14th. I´ll be in QUito, Ecuador for 2 days by myself. Then, off to Galapagoz islands for 10 days. Then on the 27th, I fly to India. I cant wait to get there....to see the faces of people that I love and who love me. All I am gonna do for 10 days in Jalandhar, where my granny lives, is to eat home cooked food, put oil in my hair, watch bollywood movies, play with babies! I am so gonna love every minute of it. Just fill my heart with unconditional love .... so simple and so fulfilling!

Machu Picchu...The mystical land of the Incas!!!! Happy new year everyone...hope it brings you everything you hope for. For me new year`s eve has always been a really big deal. A big party, definitely a new outfit, surrounded by friends I love, lots of drinking and dancing. A couple years ago, me and Rick threw the best new year`s party ever. Last year I was in Goa, surrounded by total strangers but me and Kanika managed to make the most of it. This year would be absolutely the most memorable new years eve of my life. When will I ever get a chance to say I was in a tent, surrounded by tall majestic mountains on the Inca trail on my way to Machu Picchu!! What a beautiful way to bring in the new year. Yes, I know it`s just another day...as a lot of people like to think of everything in life. I like to make big deals of some days out of the year. I realize that every day of the year should be memorable and important but sometimes its good to have landmark days to stop and guage your life. For me, a new year brings new energy! Time to let go of the past and look only to the future. And from where I stand now, it looks amazing! I read somewhere today that the best place for personal growth is when your ego has been shattered but still hasn`t had the time to attach itself to anything new. That`s where I am at right now. CLEAN SLATE!!! Time to write a new story.

The story begins on Dec 31st, the most anticipated day of my entire South American journey. I think Machu Picchu was the reason for me to set out on this journey. We arrived by bus to Olyantantambo, the town where the Inca trail begins. I was feeling very restless in the morning before this journey. I think I was a bit homesick...just missing my mom and dad so much. Just wanted to cry...so I called mom and cried my heart out. Thank God for mothers...what would I do without her. After that everything was smooth sailing. Went through the Sacred Valley, which was breathtaking. Drove through little villages, saw old Inca ruins and finally arrived at Olyantantamo in the evening. Got all our supplies for the Inca trail i.e. walking stick, water proof everything, warm clothes and other knick knacks.

Next morning I woke up literally vibrating with excitement! I was like a little kid in a candy store. I just wanted to get started on this journey that I had waited over 3 months for. We arrived by bus to the base of the Inca trail, where we got our passport stamped stating that we began the Inca trail. The first day was easy...i can say that because of the days that followed. But, it was still 6 hours of walking up and down the mountains, in the rain---ponchos on, ponchos off!! The first day, we walked through little villages, saw some ruins but it still seemed like we were in civilization. Arrived at our campsite at around 4 pm. We were 11 people in our group with 18 porters looking after us. We only carried our little day pack with the stuff that we might need during our hike. The rest of our stuff (sleeping bags, matteress etc) was carried by these poor porters. I cant believe the quality of service we received. We were treated like royalty the entire journey. The food was spectacular. We arrived at our campsite and our tents were all set up. We were given hot water to dip our feet in. There was a little shop where we bought some beer. But after beer and dinner, we decided to go to bed...at about 9 pm. At 11:45, we were woken up to bring in the new year. There was champagne, pisco, wine!! It was quite magical to count down to the new year in a dinner tent surrounded by mountains. For the first time, I was really at peace on new years eve even though I had no one to kiss. Last year was hard and I remember the first thing I did when the count down ended, was cry! I had been with Rick for 7 years and he was not there with me for the first time in 7 years. But this year, I was at peace. That`s what I mean about guaging how far you`ve come in your life.

Next morning we were woken up by the donkey braying outside our tent. Came out of my tent to see that I had literally landed in Old McDonald`s farm. There were chicken, pigs, ducks, cats, dogs, donkeys, guinea pigs...all roaming free among our tents. It was quite hillarious. After a lovely breakfast of pancakes, we set out on what was supposed to be the hardest hike of the four day journey. Me, Sponge and Jessica were ahead of the group and walked the entire day together. We had a lot of help from coco leaves! Felt like a right maj(cow for hindi) chewing on dried out leaves. But, it does give you a lot of energy and helps with breathing at high altitude. After all we had to climb 2000 meters in 4 hours. Straight up!! It was grouse grind x 10! But so much more magical. The highest point of our journey, dead woman`s pass, was at 4200 meters. It was a real tough climb, up the uneven, rocky steps. At one point I stopped to put on some sun screen and there was something crystally on my face. Then I realized I was literally sweating salt! But, when I arrived at the top of the dead woman`s pass, I was overcome with emotion! I looked down to see how far I had come and the entire valley was covered with clouds. I realized that I was above the clouds! I sat there, feeling the energy of the mountain....and then the tears came. OUt of nowhere...I started to cry. Not knowing why I was crying but I knew that I had to. I cried and I cried until I felt like I was completely cleansed from the inside. I think a lot of it was related to Rick. I just never allowed myself to grieve for my marriage breaking up. I just went out and started dating right away, never giving myself the space to grieve the loss of someone I loved dearly. I think I had a lot of suppressed grief that just came out at the top of the mountain. I felt so lighthearted after. I have been a whole new person since then...granted its only been 4 days :) but hey, so far I feel like a different person. What goes up, must come down...hence, we started our downhill journey from dead woman`s pass. This was harder than climbing up, especially when it started to rain. Going down slippery stones, covered in our ponchos was not the funnest but we made the most of it. Arrived at our second campsite at the foot of a massive waterfall, in the middle of the cloud forest. Yes, we were literally in the middle of the clouds. Heaven...couldnt have imagined it any other way. That nite we were told the best part of the journey was yet to come.

Next day began with a straight uphill climb for about 2 hours. After that it was supposed to be mostly flat, or rolling hills. After lunch, I decided to walk alone...and am I ever glad that I did. This was the most beautiful landscape of the entire journey. I was walking through clouds, past waterfalls, on this narrow authentic Inca trail. All I heard were birds, waterfalls and my footsteps. Its the closest I`ve ever felt to God. I felt so at one with nature, walking among these majestic mountains, on the road built thousands of years ago. Everything seemed brighter, as if I could see the energy fields of the plants! I get goose bumps when I think about it. I would be walking for hours and then around the bend, in the middle of the mountains, I would come upon an old Inca city ruin. This is how they lived, among the mountains. THey worshipped mountains, as their primary God. THat is why there is so much energy here. Arrived at the 3rd campsite...finally showers!!! Oh, did I mention there were no showers the first two days? Yes, we sweat a lot and we were extremely stinky! After the best hot shower of my life, I had the best cold beer of my life. THis campsite was very posh compared to the other two we stayed at. There was a restaurant, a bar, a discotheque and did I mention..showers!!! We all drank and danced with our lovely (yet extremely stinky) porters. It was a lot of fun. When again would I get the opportunity to go to a discotheque in my socks and sandals :)

Next morning arrived too early. We were supposed to be up at 4 am in order to reach the sun gate to watch the sunrise over machu picchu. It was pouring rain, I was tired and sleepy, and it was freezing cold! But, we got up, got dressed and started our 2 hour journey to the sun gate. Again, I opted to walk alone, away from the group. I wanted to feel one with nature again and I wasnt disappointed. Unfortunately, it was not very sunny when we arrived at the sun gate. In fact, the entire city of machu picchu was shrouded in clouds. But, it was still magical. When I first caught sight of Machu Picchu, it was breathtaking! It looked like it had a veil of clouds over it. But as I stood there, mesmerized by its beauty, the clouds lifted and the city was revealed to me. It was spectacular! Then, our lovely guide, Miguel, took us around the city and brought it to life. HOw the Incas lived, how they prayed, how they performed human sacrifices, their customs, their architecture, their spirituality! It was wonderful. THe entire city is surrounded by amazingly tall mountains. My only regret was that the clouds never fully lifted for me to see the mountains clearly. Yes it was quite amazing to see the clouds drift in and out and reveal a little bit at a time, but I would`ve liked to see the entire thing clearly atleast once. But, it was not to be. Nonetheless, I have to say, Machu Picchu not only lived up to my expectations but exceeded it! I would recommend it to anyone in a heartbeat. But I have to say, the journey was what made the destination so amazing. You can get to the city by train but I cant imagine the experience being even close to what we experienced!

I am in Cusco now and have only 9 more days left on this trip. After that 10 ays in Galapagoz and then I am off to India. I was gonna come to Vancouver for a week or so but I miss mom too much. My brother has been kind enough to get me a flight direct from Quito, Ecuador to London. Might have to be in London for a couple of days, long enough to buy some clothes and then off to India. Did I mention I am going to live in an ashram in India for 3 months! Yeah, next up, spirituality!! I am going to work and meditate, and do yoga for three months in this gorgeous ashram in Pune called Osho ashram. Should be interesting. Will keep u updated. Lots of love and good wishes for the new year.

Peru, Land of the Incas!!!!
Peru has so far been everything I could have dreamed of. The landscape, the people, the spiritual energy of this place is intense! The landscape is so old, some of the terraces were built by pre-Incas. I know it`s not as old as some of the places I have visited in India, but there is a big difference. Some of the places we have visited so far are frozen in time and people still live pretty much the same lifestyle that the Incas might have lived. They farm on the same fields, they grow the same crop, they have very little interaction with the people in the city. It is such a strange feeling…like you`ve gone back in time.

Let me tell you about the experience I had that took me back in time. We took a boat to this island on Lake Titicaca to go for a homestay with some local people. WOW!!! Cant believe how little these people have. It was a good 4 hour journey that took us to this island….(Wow..i have to tell u about something crazy that just happened. I am at an internet café in a small place called Puno and guess what song is playing. Garam masala…a hindi song!!!! I cant believe it. This is too funny. Oh, I miss bollywood)

Back to the island…The boat ride took us past these floating islands made of reed that people actually live on. These people keep rebuilding on top of the reeds every 20 or so days. It`s so strange to see these little communities floating on the lake. So, we arrived at the island we were supposed to stay on and our ´mamas´were waiting to welcome us. Island was called Amantani island, pop 5000. We were introduced to our mama, Celestina, who took us on a really long walk uphill to her house. I swear, I think I am in good shape, but when you have to walk uphill at 3500mts (12000ft), it really takes your breath away. My heart was hammering against my chest like a jackhammer, my mouth was completely dry and I felt faint after this 20 minute walk.( Did I mention, I am starting on the Inca trail in 4 days!!! Hai Ram, its scary!! ) Anyway, after this gruesome walk, we arrived at our mamas house and were shown to our room in the attic. Basically, it was a room with 4 beds and not much else, including electricity!! The toilet was a hole in the ground, and not a very deep hole. Basically, you had to go drown the log that the previous person left!!! It was disgusting.

Our mama brought us some tea, called munia tea, which is really good for altitude sickness. I was willing to give this a try after saying no to coca tea. Coca tea gave me the strangest dreams ever. After the tea, we were taken to the soccer field where the Gringos faced off with the local guys. It was quite funny cheering on the gringos and lemme tell you there were a lot of them. I guess anytime something gets listed on the Lonely Planet, it becomes part of the gringo trail. After the soccer game, we started our 1.5 km trek up the hill to watch the sunset. The highest point was 4900 mts, the same as the highest point on the inca trail. It wasn`t that hard climbing up this hill and this time it was the view at the top that took my breath away. Reminded me a lot of Saturna island back home, except for the terrace farmlands!!!

Dinner time was something I was absolutely dreading. I can sleep anywhere, use any kind of rankus mungus toilet, but when it comes to eating, I don`t like funny smells. We went to the kitchen to see if we could help our mama cook. She refused but welcomed us to sit in the kitchen. She was cooking on an open fire stove and the smell was quite overpowering. She gave us quinoa soup, with potatoes and vegetables. It tasted much better than it looked and I forced it down my throat all the time saying ´sinchi sumay´meaning it is delicious!! After the dinner experience, our mama took us to our room and began the process of dressing us in their traditional attire. We only got two skirts, but apparently these women wear upto 20 skirts at one time. WOW! That would be one heck of a long stripping session! So, we got two skirts and a long shirt tucked in these skirts. There was a belt that was tightly wound around our waists to make them look tiny…felt like a corset!!! Then, we got a shawl (can I say it fucking stank!!!) to keep warm! All dolled up, we walked to the dance hall with our head torches lighting our way. It was so much fun, dancing like crazy people, with the Peruvians. We danced till about 10:30 and called it a nite. What a crazy nite it was. Poured like cats and dogs all nite on our tin roof. It was a really cold, wet, loud, sleepless nite!

In the morning, we got pancakes and Fanny jam for breakfast. Yes, the jam was called Fanny 100% guaranteed!!! Everyone needs a little bit of fanny in their life and I got mine this morning. After breakfast, our mama walked us to the boat dock. I was really happy to say goodbye to the island and return back to civilization. It was an amazing experience but not something I would like to repeat. I cannot believe what for me was an experience for one night is their life. It is a very tough life and I really admire these people for living it with big smiles on their faces!!!

Tomorrow, we head out to Cusco, the party capital of Peru. We are gonna be there for 2 days before heading out to the Sacred Valley, where we begin our ascent on the Inca Trail on New Year`s eve!!! Will write my next blog next year. Thanks a lot to all of you for sending me such lovely wishes for Christmas. It`s nice to know that even though I am so far away, I am still in your thoughts. Ashlu, are you listening??? I miss you loads!!!

Feliz Navidad everyone!!!! It`s been three months since I embarked on this crazy adventure. I remember leaving Vancouver, saying goodbye to all my friends and family and especially Ashlu…it was all so sad and extremely scary!!! I remember thinking why I was leaving this comfortable life I am living with people that I love. But I know why…because sometimes your heart knows more than you do at a conscious level. I knew I had a yearning for travelling, seeing new places, meeting new people…hoping that somewhere along my journey I will find some reason why I am here. Who I am, what I want, which direction I want my life to go. But I have realized that the more answers I receive, the more questions arise. I have learned one thing…one big thing..and that is to accept the cards that life has dealt me. To make the most of it in the present moment without fretting about the future. I don’t know what the future has in store for me…its all so uncertain. But I have learned that uncertainity is the breeding ground for evolvement. I have to live in the present, enjoy the spectacular ride and plan for the future but not get overwhelmed by it.

So, let me tell you about my amazing ride in the last few days. Bolivia, esp LaPaz was probably the dirtiest, stinkiest, weirdest city I have visited on this journey. But it is definitely also one of the cities that boasts character. This is one city that is not trying to be European, not trying to be hip, it is very south American!!! The clothing, the attitude, the food. Speaking of food…can I say its all about Llamas, Alpacas, Guinea Pigs!! The worst of it all is they sell this food on the street. Llamas fucking stink like death!! Went to the witch`s market where they sell all kind of scary stuff like dried out Llama skeletons, llama fetuses, and then some normal stuff like alpaca fur scarfs, sweaters and shit. The kinda stuff that screams BACKPACKERS!!! I resisted the temptation but both Sponge and Jess are now certifiably backpackers and I am not just talking about their clothes…

Christmas arrived in La Paz. We wandered around the city square looking for xmas celebrations. It was very tame though, with the exception of street markets that sold really trashy plastic toys and decorations for Christmas. We did find a Latino Santa to ask him to bring us gifts for xmas. I only asked for one thing but didn’t get it. Ashlu, are you listening? Two nites before xmas was really sad coz we again had to say our goodbyes. I hate saying goodbyes, esp when you know you are never gonna see these people again. Said goodbye to Maharani, Jose, Jason and Jerry. Now, we are on the last leg of the tour. The next 21 days it`s just the 10 of us and Geraldine, our tour leader. So, we went out for a big nite out to say our goodbyes. Met loads of people, danced like crazy, drank a lot…a great great fun nite out!!! The next day though was depressing and we all walked around moping until that nite. Went out dancing again and met loads of backpackers. On Christmas eve, we went out for a turkey dinner to a place called Mongos. We were all feeling a little restless and out of place all day so we decided to start drinking early…around 5 pm. Watched Christmas music on tv, drank, donned our santa hats and headed out for our Christmas dinner. Once we got there, it felt a bit more normal coz there were a lot of other people doing the exact same thing as us.

Next morning, on Christmas day, we headed out early to catch our bus to Puno, in Peru. The bus took us through beautiful, yet depressing Bolivian countryside. It was depressing coz at each bend, there were little kids begging for money. I was thinking the contrast was so strange…back home kids would have been opening beautiful gifts from Santa and for the kids here it was just another day. Just another day of trying to get some food. We do live in a very privileged world and should really be grateful for everything little thing we have.

The bus journey brought us to Lake Titicaca, the highest lake in the world, at 3900 mts. We stopped in a little town for some lunch and then boarded another bus that took us across the border to Peru. Peru is the 9th country I would be visiting on this journey so far. In Bariloche, Argentina I was going through such a hard time that I almost called it quits. But the only thing that kept me going was the thought of coming to Peru and going on the Inca trail. I had to keep going and I am so glad and so proud of myself for staying strong and continuing my journey.

More adventure than we bargained for....

So, after chilling out and partying for 2 days, I was ready to feel the adrenaline rush through my body again. So, I went and booked myself for a paragliding adventure. Me, and 4 others in my group got up real early and headed out to the cliff where we were supposed to jump off of. It was about a 2 hour ride where u see nothing at all for miles. Just barren mountains and fields as far as eye can see. But then suddenly, we`d see some random person walking. Where the hell were these people coming from and where the hell were they walking to? There was nothing, literally NOTHING for miles and miles. But apparently, that`s what Bolivians do. Since they dont have any money to afford cars or even public transport, they just walk from one town to another...no matter how far they might have to walk.

So, we were driving along this paved road and suddenly we veered off onto yet another dirt path which is not really a road. This path was going to take us to the top of the mountain. And, I think this was the scariest drive ever. Nothing but a sheer cliff and an asshole of a driver, who thought it was hillarious how the gringos were getting scared. Anyway, got to the top of the mountain and had to walk through some poor village`s crops to get to the edge of the cliff. They set up their instruments for guaging the wind force and directions. Now, back home I`d seen these instruments had a bunch of dials and numbers on them. But here in Bolivia, they think a stick in the ground with some toilet paper on it does the trick. So, first up was Anthony a.k.a Raton (mouse in spanish) and he was strapped in. THe guide told him to start running when the toilet paper was flapping in his direction. And then he was off!!! It looked really scary the way he ran to the edge of the cliff. So, after watching this, I was beginning to have second thoughts about my decision. When the time came for me to jump...i was panicking! I sat by myself and thought of all the reasons I couldn`t do it...and not one made any sense. SO, i strapped myself in and when the toilet paper faced me, and my guide told me to run...i fucking ran!!! It was the weirdest feeling to keep running to the edge of the cliff when everything inside you is yelling at you to stop. And then before i knew it I was floating, rising, flying!!!! It was incredible. I felt like all the burden of fear was left on the ground and I was free like a bird! I felt like a bird, coz i couldnt see anything but the ground...couldnt see the seat i was strapped in, couldnt see the parachute, couldnt see the guide. We swooshed around for about 10 mins and then came time for landing. My guide told me to run as soon as we touched the ground...and I told him there was no way I was gonna do that. And sure enough...i landed PLOP on my ass! Apparently, as per John and Ayesha who were watching me land, I bounced a couple of times! Imagine coming down from about 2000ft and landing on ur ass! It doesnt feel good....but it was quite funny.

After me, was Sponge and then the real adventure began. After she landed, we were waiting for the asshole driver to come down the mountain and get us so we could head back to our hotel. We waited for 2 hours for the ride that should have taken only 20 mins. Raton was in the van with the driver so were really starting to get worried. We were sure that he went over the cliff or something. Now, it was 4 of us gringos and our spanish speaking guide in the middle of a tiny village with literally 10 houses, no cars, no telephones, no water. After 2 hours, we decided we had to take some action...so we started to make our way to the street. We decided to hitchike and after our guide got rejected a couple of times, I had to take over. I flagged down a construction truck and in my really broken spanish and a lot of flirty eyes I begged him to take us with him. He agreed and we hopped in the back of the truck. This was the funniest thing...every time we hit a pothole (and we hit a lot of them), a cloud of dust would arise and completely envelope us. I have never been so dusty and dirty and stinky in my life. It was a load of fun but we were still worried about Raton. But when we got back to the hotel, Raton showed up. Apparently the jeep had broken down and they had to walk down the cliff face, and hitchhike their way back to the hotel. So, then now we had a good excuse to drink!!! To celebrate our adventure. Today, I am doing absoluetly nothing...taking a day off from my vacation. Gonna catch up on my emails, read, watch tv, heal my sore ass. Just chill chill, just chill!!!

On another note, life has been really good in general. Have been reading loads, getting a lot of love from back home. Parents, family, friends are filling up my life with love. Life is a mystery, ain't it?

From the driest desert in the world, thru the salt flats above the andes to the highest and the most depressing city in the world...what a journey it`s been in the last 10 days. After the last posting, we went to the oasis in the Atacama desert. The place looked like something out of this world, another planet, maybe what I would imagine the lunar surface to look like. It was weird how there was this real touristy town in the middle of nowhere. We rented bikes and decided to go sand boarding. The bike ride was real tough coz of the altitude (2900meters) and a little bit of exertion was making us dizzy. But sand boarding was rather fun but not an experience I would like to repeat. I can`t say I am a fan of having sand in my chucha (the spanish word for u know what!!)But I did enjoy visiting the inca ruins and the bike riding although at the end of the day I had a very sore and very sandy chucha. Had to put on pants saying ´closed for business´!

Atacama desert was our last stop in Chile and so the next morning we made our way to Bolivia. The Bolivian-Chilean border crossing is the funniest thing I`ve ever seen in my life. It's at approximately 12000ft and there is absolutely nothing there but a little office where they pretend to check ur passport. Anyway, we had our breakfast at this border crossing and set out in 3 4x4's to cross the antiplano (area above the andes) over the next three days. THe drive was breathtaking...green lagoons, red lagoons, white lagoons, flamingoes, llamas!! The pics speak for themselves coz it`s hard to put such beauty in words. We drove and drove for three days, stopping to take pics of these beautiful sites, staying the night in weird villages in the middle of nowhere! Finally after two days of driving we arrived at the salt hotel. This hotel is made of salt bricks...trust me I checked. The walls tasted very salty!! Beautiful hotel..but by this time all of us were exhibiting signs of altitude sickness...tiredness, headache, nausea, vomiting! But the troopers that we are, we drank some hardcore BOlivian alcohol and made the most of the nite. THe next morning started at 4 am to go see the sunrise. It was the most spectacular experience..to be sitting on what used to be an island in the middle of a salt lake and watching the sunrise. Sitting on top of the hill, u could see nothing but salt as far as eye could see. It looked like a sea of salt! Hard to imagine there used to be water and marine life there at one time. Very surreal! But after the sunrise, we set out on one of the longest journey`s of my trip. We drove and drove for hours and arrived in Potosi, the highest city in the world, at 11 pm. The bus that took us to Potosi was so battered that it was a miracle it could even drive on a flat road let alone the heights it was scaling! It was the most nerve wracking journey...sheer cliff on one side and a high mountain on the other, in the dark, with no lights. We were on what could definitely not pass for a road. It was at best a very narrow dirt road with two way traffic and lots of Llamas on it. When we came upon any oncoming traffic, our driver would stop the bus, get out with his flashlight to see how far we were from the edge of the cliff and to see if we were gonna be able to cross without going over the edge. In the end the decision would be made to cross each other real fast and see whatever happens! Gives the term living on the edge a whole new meaning!! I read my book (with a flashlight coz there were no lights inside the bus) to keep myself occupied with something other than the harrowing drive.

Finally, arrived in Potosi, a very dark, depressing, sad city. The city is known for its silver mines and we went to visit these mines, which again would have to be one of the most depressing things I`ve done on my trip so far. THe people working in the mines are as young as 12 y.o. and their average lifespan is about 10 to 20 years. SO, a kid who starts working in the mines at 12 should not expect to live past 30. These people work 12 to 14 hours a day, 7 days a week!! Very sad...went straight from the mines back to the hotel to drown our sorrows in alcohol. Just so happened it was Maharani`s birthday. We had a cake waiting for her and starting drinking at about 5pm. What started as a sad, depressing day ended up being quite a fun filled, eventful day after all. There`s so much we have to thank alcohol for :)

At the moment we are in Sucre, the capital of BOlivia. It`s a much better city than Potosi, especially our hotel. It`s a beautiful, colonial style hotel with a courtyard. Last nite was a crazy nite since we had three birthdays to celebrate. Went out drinking, followed by some real bad drunken karyoking. I can`t believe we actually got up on the stage in a club and sang `girls just wanna have fun`. It was hillarious how all the other people there were so serious about their singing. It was almost like they were auditioning for American Idol or something. But we had a great time and made total asses of ourselves. After that we went to a club and danced till 5 in the morning. Drank too much, and unfortunately smoked too much as well. My lungs and liver are recuperating today. TOmorrow I am finally gonna go jump off a cliff...i mean go paragliding! A little bit scared but mostly looking forward to it. Will keep u posted on how it goes.

THE TALES OF GUAVA (my new nickname):
So here I am again after three weeks of no blogging...and what an amazing journey I`ve been through..both physical and emotional. I have pushed myself to the edge both physically and emotionally and have come back triumphant!!! I pity the people who dont rise to challenges in their lives for the fear of the unknown, for the fear of losing, for the fear of not making it!!! But I have decided never to live my life like that any longer coz each time u r faced with a hurdle in your life, and each time u think u can`t make it past this one, and each time u pull yourself together and make it past it, you get stronger!!! I have surprised myself with my own inner strength...I have learned so much about myself and what I am capable of. Ashley, you will be very proud to know that I have not used any valium since I last spoke to you. I have found a good replacement for valium...i.e. running! I have started running in the mornings and I need to thank Michael for that. Michael has been a great source of inspiration and motivation in my life. It is amazing how when u need people in your life, they just turn up. For someone who doesnt travel long term, its hard to understand how anyone can not have fun on their vacation. There is a huge difference between travelling and vacations. When u r travelling for months on end, just moving from one place to another, away from your friends and family, away from anything ´normal´it can get a bit overwhelming sometimes. I have always said that I am the luckiest person I know and I still believe that. I have met some amazing people who have extended themselves to me...my fav five so far are Brett, Marisa aka Crazy, Jennifer aka Sponge Bob aka Spongy, Carolina aka Maharani and Michael who calls me Goddess Ria. I can`t say I have a problem with that name. Marisa is a rock, strong, independent, funny, caring. Reminds me a lot of you Larissa and her best friend`s name is also Laura :) Spongy is a goofball. If I am sad, she makes me laugh, mostly at my expense. But she`ll make goofy faces, dance like sponge bob, has an amazing sense of humor and I love her. She reminds me a lot of Ashley, they share the same birthday and also the same sense of humor, and the same pasty white colored skin. For example, she said to me today if I needed to go read this morning. I know only Ashley will get that joke but I am glad I have her with me for most of the trip. HI I AM THE SPONGE, AND APPARENTLY I AM A GOLFBALL, VERY WHITE AND A LITTLE BIT ROUND! Lol! Sorry, the sponge just took over writing and she`s laughing at me...AGAIN for being so cheesy! Anyway, moving on...Carolina is our trainee tour leader and she always is there to listen to me and also to provide us good material for humor. I must admit, she is the butt of a lot of jokes me and spongy come up with. She has such a cute Spanish accent and we make fun of her coz we think she is in love with a guy on our tour. Michael is an inspiration, when we go running, we talk about a lot of stuff that a lot of men won`t talk about. The fact that he is gay may make him a little bit more in touch with his feelings. Me and him share the same birthday so I think he has a very clear insight into my personality. He knows all my insecurities, my passions, my ambitions, without me really voicing it to him. He has really helped me figure out what I might wanna do with my life. And last but not least, Brett. Brett is such a fine human being, he really extends himself to people in his life. He is so positive and everytime we chat, or email, his optimism rubs off on me. I am so lucky that I have been able to make such great life long friends.

Now lemme tell u about what I have been up to in the last three weeks. I have been white water rafting, canopying, almost went paragliding but the weather was too unstable to jump off the cliff so i`ll have to do that in Sucre, climbed a volcano 4000 ft in one day, went horse back riding! It`s amazing when I look back at my life and I wonder where all that fear came from. And all the amazing experiences I was denying myself because of inexplicable fears. Climbing that volcano was absolutely fantastic. It took us 4 hours to do the climb. First we had to get to the base and we had to do that on a chair lift. My first time on the chair life was last April with Ashley in Whistler. I was so scared and it was only on a little bunny hill. This was a very high chair lift and the kicker was it didn`t even have a bar. I was amazed at how relaxed I was. The climb was tough, zig zagging our way up the snow covered mountain. Every time I looked up, the climb looked really daunting, but every time I looked back, it was breathtaking and would encourage me to keep going. But when I made it to the top, I was in tears. I could not believe the beauty of nature. I was standing at the top of the volcano, on the snow, looking inside the crater, while the earth roared and spit out hot molten lava literally a hundred feet away from me. We went for a bit of a walk along the edge of the crater. I was right behind the guide at this point and I asked him if he realized that what we were doing was absolutely insanely crazy. We were walking on the edge of the crater, not wide enough for two people to walk side by side. On one side of this ledge was the crater (no fence around it) emitting hot lava, on the other side was snow covered cliffs. Either way you fell, you were not gonna come out alive! It was exhilirating and the downhill sliding was so much fun. I have never felt so much like a kid for a long time. We wore these bum sliders on our bums and literally slid down the 8000 feet of snow with nothing but an ice axe to slow us down. Obviously in the beginning i was a bit scared of the speed and I kept using my axe to slow myself down. But as I got used to it, it was so much fun and i forgot to use my axe. Loved it but I have to say that was probably the max I can physically push my body to do in one day. Until ofcourse the Inca trail.

Chile is one of the most beautiful countries. We went to the end of the Pan American highway and Michael was gonna take a pic of me trying to hitchhike at the end of the highway. But we couldn`t find a sign that indicated the end of the highway. Penguins were beautiful when we finally got to the island of Chiloe. It was literally at the bottom of the earth. Tonite a 16 hour bus ride will take us to the desert oasis of Atacama. It is the driest desert in the world. We are gonna take horses into the valley of the moon. After that we make our way to the salt flats of BOlivia. But I will write about it when I have done that. There wont be any kind of communication with the outside world for a few days. BUt i am going to continue blogging from now on. Thanks a lot for ur love and support.